


Nightmares

by Kasienda



Series: Dreams [2]
Category: Sailor Moon - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Dreams, F/M, Prophecy, Reincarnation, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasienda/pseuds/Kasienda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mamoru's worst nightmares were coming to life before his eyes. </p><p>He hadn’t been fast enough. He hadn’t been able to protect her. He should have been able to protect her. She was the most loving and compassionate person in existence. Why did the spirits want her? Why did they flock to her, screaming for her death? Even now, the creatures surrounded the palace with otherworldly screeches scrambling at doors, windows, and cracks.</p><p>He cradled her golden head against his chest. He couldn’t lose her, he screamed in his mind. He didn’t know who he would be without her love gentling him. He feared the cold existence before her...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Once Upon a Dream, though I think you’ll have no trouble following it even if you haven’t read that one first. This has been in the works for awhile now and I want to apologize to my followers for the delay. You have my husband and muse to thank for this finally getting out as he helped me iron out my premise that I was struggling with for the longest time. This story is dedicated to him and our own story of true love! Hope you enjoy!

“She’s dying,” Mercury reported sadly.

The king closed his eyes against the most unwelcome announcement, as if by refusing to see the events unfolding around him he could change reality.

There had been too many of them. The vengeful spirits had grown in number over the centuries always focused on only one thing – his queen.

“She can’t die,” he said brokenly turning back to the one and only love of his life as she lay there pale and unmoving. He prayed that she would open her crystal blue eyes and dazzle him with her ever-present smile. Instead, she remained frozen, framed in the golden sunshine of her hair. He squeezed her hand. She did not respond.

“I don’t think she will awaken again, your majesty.”

His worst fears were coming to life before his eyes. 

He hadn’t been fast enough. He hadn’t been able to protect her. He should have been able to protect her. She was the most loving and compassionate person in existence. Why did the spirits want her? Why did they flock to her, screaming for her death? Even now, the creatures surrounded the palace with otherworldly screeches scrambling at doors, windows, and cracks.

He cradled her golden head against his chest. He couldn’t lose her, he screamed in his mind. He didn’t know who he would be without her love gentling him. He feared the cold existence before her and he could not go back to that. The sunlight itself seemed to diminish as he took in her sleeping form.

“Your majesty!” Venus called, bringing his attention back to the spirits clamoring at the gates. Their numbers had multiplied again – the dark mist pressed against every window and seemed to be oozing through the seams. 

“What is causing this?” he demanded in rage. “Where are they coming from?”

The blue soldier of knowledge typed furiously on her handheld computer.

“I’ve never seen readings like these,” she mumbled.

“Mercury!” Mars screamed impatiently.

“Your majesty, I think I finally have enough data to present a theory.”

He hated her in that moment. The most important person to all five of them lay dying a few inches away and she had that awe in her voice. The incredulity she always had whenever she made a scientific breakthrough.

“ _Well_?” he demanded when she did not continue.

“It’s you,” she said, her eyes never leaving the little screen.

“What the hell does _that_ mean?” he spat.

She finally looked up, meeting his eyes. “It’s all centered around you. You’re creating this nightmare.”


	2. The Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things you should culturally be aware of: 1) In Japan, you don’t meet your significant other’s parents until you are seriously talking marriage. 2) Whenever you go over to someone’s house for the first time OR come back and visit friends/family after a traveling you bring a gift (or souvenir), which is referred to as an omiyage – usually a consumable like food or perfume so that it won’t take up space forever in tiny Japanese living spaces. It is considered very rude not to bring a gift. Interestingly enough, your host won’t open it while you’re there – that’s considered rude too.

Motoki tapped his fingers agitatedly on the arm of his best friend’s dark leather couch. His laptop sat three feet away on the coffee table, their presentation on ‘How to Maintain a Just Society’ lit up at him mockingly. How had he let Mamoru get on the subject of vigilantes? The presentation would never be completed at this rate. He turned pleading eyes toward Setsuna, their third partner in the project, but her attention was on Mamoru, grinning in superior amusement.

“It’s the road to anarchy,” Mamoru insisted again. “Plain and simple.”

“Actu…” Setsuna began to counter, but Motoki cut her off.

“How can _you_ say that?!” he demanded heatedly, leaning forward from his seat rejoining the debate against his better judgment. “ _You_ have been personally saved by the Sailor Senshi! Not to mention your girlfriend and your best friend that have both been rescued on _multiple_ occasions.”

“Motoki-kun, you know that I’m glad you’re alright. I have no objection to the heroism. But you cannot deny that with the Sailor Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen, you basically have a task force that runs rampant across the city. They answer to no one. What happens if they decide to take the law into their own hands? Or, what if they hurt someone? How do you hold them accountable?” Mamoru challenged.

Motoki sighed in frustration. He usually found Mamoru to be pretty open minded even if he was a tad bit reserved. Motoki could not understand why his friend was so dense on this one particular issue.

“They don’t actually fight crime Mamoru-kun! They don’t go after ordinary criminals and haven’t for the last two years! They fight and destroy monsters and supernatural phenomena! Do you really think a police force is equipped to deal with that kind of thing?”

“No, but I think anyone who hides their identity and refuses to work within the infrastructure has ulterior motives,” Mamoru countered.

Motoki swore he saw Mamoru’s mouth quirk up into a smirk, but it was suppressed so quickly, he couldn’t be sure he hadn’t imagined it.

Setsuna laughed. “Are you saying that you would want the Sailor Senshi working for the government?”

“Yes,” Mamoru said firmly.

“That’s a terrible idea!” she argued. “They’d get so bogged down in procedures and approval processes, they’d never get to the fight where they were needed.”

“Everyone should be under review Setsuna-chan,” Mamoru insisted gently.

“What makes you think the Sailor Senshi are not?” she countered, her eyes sparkling.

Motoki flicked his eyes between his two friends. They _both_ were trying not to _laugh_.

“Have I missed something?” he asked, suddenly feeling very left out of the loop.

They both turned startled glances his way.

“What are you talking about Motoki-kun?” Mamoru asked.

“You both seem like you’re incredibly amused. And I just do not see what is so funny.”

“Just enjoying getting into the debate,” Setsuna reassured him. “It’s not often I get to mentally test my wits. Mamoru-kun can give me a run for my money.”

Motoki shook his head in amazement. They both seemed to love the art of debate and he just did not understand it. He argued for what he believed with passion and tried to make others understand what seemed so obvious to himself. Whereas, Mamoru and Setsuna would often argue the opposite of whatever a stated stance was just to play devil’s advocate.

“Well, would you cut it out?” he begged. “I find it exhausting!” he complained.

“I’m sorry Motoki-kun!” Setsuna said with a smile, rising to her feet. “I probably should be going anyway. I’m supposed to meet some friends for dinner. She waved a fairwell to Mamoru and he winked back.

“See you tomorrow Setsuna-chan! We’ll wrap this presentation up then and see if we can’t free up some evenings again!” Mamoru promised.

“Trying to get rid of me Mamoru-kun?” she mock accused. “And I thought I had already stolen your heart. I’m hurt!”

“I just know when to give up because I have no chance,” he countered.

Motoki snorted at the blatant flirting. All three of them knew Mamoru’s heart was completely and irrevocably stolen by another.

Setsuna finally made her way through the door with another parting wave.

It was silent for a moment at her exit.

“Would you like a drink before you head out?” Mamoru offered.

“Please,” Motoki said with some relief. Finals were stretching him thin and it would be nice to just sit and relax. So he sprawled across the couch, glaring at the work laid out on the coffee table before him.

No sooner had Mamoru disappeared into the kitchen there was a knock at the door. Assuming it was Setsuna who had forgotten something, Motoki leapt up to open the door. He found himself face to face with a blue eyed blond.

“Usagi-chan!” Motoki greeted delightfully. “Mamoru-kun didn’t tell me you’d be swinging by.”

“Motki-oniisan!” she exclaimed throwing her arms around him in an exuberant hug. “It’s been ages! What’ve you been up to?”

“Oh nothing much. School and work mostly. In between attempting to talk sense into your idiot boyfriend,” he said as he jerked his head toward his best friend who had just walked back into the room. Mamoru handed him the much-desired beer.

“What’s he done this time?” she asked in mock concern.

“Oh nothing! We were just arguing about the merits and detractors of vigilantes on the street protecting Japanese citizens from youmas and the like.”

She grinned, finally turning her attention toward Mamoru completely.

“You still worried about a handful of teenage girls in mini skirts taking over the world?” she asked playfully walking into his arms.

“I was more worried about the odd ball that runs around in a tuxedo and a cape,” he countered, his attention centered on her fully.

“He uses roses, Mamo-chan,” she said patiently as if explaining it to a small child. “A symbol of love, to fight. I don’t think you need to be concerned.”

“Plus, he’s gorgeous,” she added as an afterthought. “No one that handsome would have designs on ruling the earth.”

“Careful Usako. I might get jealous,” Mamoru said with dancing eyes. 

For the second time that night, Motoki felt like there was a second layer to the conversation that flew completely over his head.

She stood on tip-toes and kissed him tenderly. Despite the fact that it was a completely chaste kiss, the two of them positively glowed in one another’s presence – even after a solid two years together.

Motoki held his breadth, feeling very much like an intruder to a private moment. He slipped around the couple trying to quietly pack his things even as he hurriedly gulped down the beer, but he was not quiet enough.

“Going somewhere?” Usagi asked.

“Yeah, it’s getting late. Reika-chan will be worried…” he explained quickly.

“Reika-chan is still in Africa,” Mamoru pointed out.

Motoki winced. Why couldn’t Mamoru ever just play along? Didn’t he _want_ to spend time with his lady?

“But she’s supposed to call me in… uh… about half an hour,” he improvised. “I just lost track of time.”

Mamoru rolled his eyes, but didn’t contradict him.

“Motoki-oniisan!” Usagi objected. “You don’t have to leave. I was the one that interrupted your studying by arriving unexpected and unannounced!”

“It’s okay Usagi-chan. I’ve stolen him from you for the whole week. Spend some time together. It’ll be good for you both,” he insisted with a smile as he pulled his backpack to his shoulder.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Mamoru-kun,” he said with a salute to his friend who mouthed a ‘thank you’ at him. Motoki nodded in acknowledgement. That’s what friends were for.

“Usagi-chan, always a pleasure,” he said with a wink before making his way to the door.

“Good-bye Motoki-oniisan! But consider yourself warned that next time, I’ll take it personally if you decide to dash off the moment I arrive!” she called after him.

He laughed at her threat. “Fair enough.”

“Say hello to Reika-chan for me!”

“Of course!” he agreed flashing her a bright smile before gently closing the door in his wake. He walked away from the flat with a grin on his face. Mamoru was certain to be in a delightful mood on the morrow. It’d be a good time to ask him for a favor.

…

The second the door had closed, Mamoru seized Usagi and captured her lips with his own. She melted into his embrace.

“Mamo-chan,” she moaned as she pulled away. “I’ve really missed you, but why did you invite me over if you were having a study session?”

“I had time for both. You just showed up early. A solid _hour_ early,” he repeated for emphasis. “Not that I’m complaining,” he said caressing the side of her face. “I’ve missed you too.”

She blushed. “I may have rushed through some homework,” she admitted.

“Usako,” he scolded, “you have finals next week. This is not the time to be giving less than your all.”

“So do you!” she countered. “And that didn’t stop you from letting Motoki leave early.”

“We have been working all afternoon. We both needed a break.”

“Didn’t sound like it. You were arguing about the ethics of vigilantes.”

“Believe it or not, that was related to the presentation. It’s for our political science class.”

“Why do you insist on torturing him with that anarchy nonsense?” she asked.

He allowed the subject change even though he knew she did it to distract him from the topic of her own study habits.

“You know why I put myself publicly against the ‘vigilantes’!”

“That’s with strangers and acquaintances! Not with your best friends!” she insisted.

“How else can I protect him Usako?”

“You’re never going to convince him that the vigilantes are a menace. He’s been saved by them too many times. And by arguing with him you push him away. He’ll be less protected then,” she insisted.

“Motoki-kun’s not going anywhere. We still have plenty of other things we share.”

“But…”

“Usako,” he interrupted gently, “can we talk about your study habits and my debates with Motoki later? There was something else that I _really_ was hoping to talk to you about tonight.”

“What is it?”

“I thought we might go shopping tomorrow after school if you’re free.”

“You want to take me shopping?” she asked in mock disbelief.

“I thought I could use your help in picking out an omiyage,” he said casually.

“Absolutely!” she said brightly. “Who are we shopping for?”

“…your parents?” he said feeling suddenly uncertain.

She turned wide eyes toward him and froze before she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. He breathed in her essence, relieved that she was excited. He had been half afraid she would freeze or freak out.

“Mamo-chan! _Really_?”

“Only if you don’t think it’s too soon.”

“How about Saturday night?” she suggested excitedly. “Dad will be back from his shoot in London and mom has something special planned for dinner that night as a welcome home.”

“Woah,” he said chuckling. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We both have finals coming up. We should probably stay focused on those and set up the meeting for sometime over break?” he suggested.

“Oh of course, Mamo-chan,” she agreed readily. “Now, we just have to decide what to buy. We could get some individually wrapped cakes. Or maybe some wine? Ooh! How about melon? It’s my mother’s favorite!”

Mamoru basked in her excited ramblings. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was December and melons were completely out of season.

“I’m sure we’ll find something perfect tomorrow,” he assured her.

“I just want everything to go smoothly,” she said softly.

He grinned. “I know…”

An audible rumble interrupted his assurances. Usagi blushed even as she clutched her nagging stomach. Mamoru chuckled.

“Let’s get you fed, shall we?” he suggested. 

She nodded enthusiastically as she followed him to the kitchen.

“What’s for dinner?”

“I was going to throw together some okonomiyaki. Any requests for fillings?”

“I want it all Mamo-chan!” 

He laughed.

“Of course you do.”

Twenty minutes later, Mamoru presented his little rabbit with the savory pancake covered in shrimp and a variety of vegetables.

She dove in without comment. He grinned in amusement as he slowly worked his way through his own meal.

“You make the pastry come out perfectly!” she moaned. “I’m going to have to give my mom your recipe.”

“You’re not going to learn to make it yourself?” he teased.

“Why would I need to? That’s what I’ve got you for!”

“And you’re never going to cook Usako?”

“Umm…. I can try! Don’t know if you’ll appreciate the results,” she said seriously, rising to her feet.

“Do you need a ride home?” he offered.

“No, that’s okay Mamo-chan,” she asked standing over him in his seat. He felt nervous about her walking all the way home. It was late and it was dark.

“I’d feel a lot better, if you let me take you home,” he said gently, kissing her hand.

“Mamo-chan! You worry too much. I’ll be fine!” she insisted. “Besides,” she continued with a playful smile, “if anything bad were to happen, I have this really amazing caped protector that always shows up just in the nick of time!”

“Usako, that is not something to joke about,” he scolded.

“Stop,” she said seriously. “There hasn’t been any youmas in months.”

“There are other evils in this world besides youmas.”

“You _know_ I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself!”

“I know, but I worry. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“There’s no need. I’m right here,” she reassured, wrapping her arms around his neck as she tilted his head up for another kiss.

“Maybe I just want an excuse to be with you longer,” he suggested softly when she pulled away.

She grinned.

“Could we have breakfast tomorrow?”

“You sure you want to get up that early?” he questioned with raised eyebrows.

“Mamo-chan! I can’t go another week without seeing you. It’s torture!” her eyes sparkled as they met his own.

“All-right,” he chuckled. “Seven o’clock. At the arcade.”

She pressed her lips gently to his again. His eyes fell closed and he savored the intimate contact. Somehow he never tired of kissing her.

“See you there,” she said breathily as she pulled away.

“I love you Usako,” he called after her as she quickly gathered her things.

“Love you too!” she shouted back casually and seconds later he heard the door close after her.

He sat for a moment letting his mind obsess worriedly, most likely needlessly. Disgusted with himself, he forced himself to get to his feet and do something useful, such as washing the dishes.

He had only managed to wash Usagi’s plate when he felt his chest tighten up in the all too familiar warning that meant Usagi was in trouble. He really hated being right sometimes.

He transformed as he ran from the kitchen and leapt off his balcony with practiced ease – the running faucet left behind, forgotten.

…

A scream pierced the silent night. Tuxedo Kamen found a new burst of speed. He turned the corner. 

In the distance, Sailor Moon faced a snarling shadow with glowing yellow eyes. The creature resembled an animal more than a humanoid, unlike most of the youmas they had encountered in the past. But it was like no animal he had ever seen. The long snout and ears resembled a canine, but rippling scales seemed to break through the rolling shadows suggesting something amphibious.

The beast pounced, muscles rippling and Sailor Moon screamed again as jagged claws sliced through the muscles and tendons of her left calf like butter. The masked vigilante let loose four roses is slicing succession.

Every one of them missed.

The young heroine crashed to the ground as her leg collapsed beneath her. 

She sat up and faced the snarling beast, only a few inches remained between her and the threatening creature. Tuxedo Kamen stood frozen, his heart fell to the pit of his stomach as he realized he could not get there and sweep her out of the way in time. 

But the creature did not press its attack.

“Sailor Moon!” the masked man shouted. Broken from her reverie, she scuttled backwards a few paces. He threw his own projectile again, but the beast seemed to evaporate before the rose ever struck.

He stood over her protectively determined to protect the girl he loved more than life itself, glancing in every direction certain the beast would rematerialize.

Seconds of dark silence turned into minutes. Whatever it was, it seemed to have vanished. He turned his attention to Sailor Moon about to ask if she was okay.

“Don’t even say it!” she said hotly.

“I didn’t say anything,” he pointed out.

“You were _thinking_ it!” she complained.

“Thinking what?” he asked innocently, fighting off a superior smirk.

“That you were right about talking me home.”

“What _was_ that thing?” he asked, trying to divert her attention. Maybe next time she would listen to him.

“No idea. It almost seemed like it wasn’t there.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was like it was… made of mist. It wasn’t completely solid.”

“It was solid enough to do this!” he said gesturing to the three deep slices that were welling red. “Now will you stay still so I can heal it?”

She squirmed under his ministrations. She always did, but he had had far too much practice for this to be much of an issue. She didn’t acknowledge his medical attention. Instead she kept describing the nature of this new enemy. “Yeah, but my tiara went straight through it. Like it was…”

“A non-coporeal entity,” he filled in. 

“A what?” she asked.

“Non-coporeal means that it’s not solid. It’s made of only energy.”

“You mean like a ghost.”

“I wouldn’t use the term, ‘ghost’,” he objected.

“You wouldn’t,” she agreed waving away his objection. “I will have to check in with Mercury and Luna. See if they’ve detected anything strange lately.”

Finished with his healing, he pulled her to her feet. She leaned her weight experimentally on the previously injured leg. When it held, she looked up at him with a beaming smile.

“Have I ever told you how handy it is to have you around?”

“Not today,” he said returning the grin.

“Well, it really is. Thank you Tuxedo Kamen!”

“My pleasure. I don’t suppose you’re going to let me walk with you the rest of the way now?” he asked trying to maintain a neutral voice.

For a second, he thought she was going to object, but then the tension in her shoulders dissolved and he knew he had her.

“Well… since you’re here, might as well,” she conceded.

The walk home was uneventful, but he made sure to see her all the way to the door before returning home. He had trouble falling asleep. It had been too much to hope that just maybe there wouldn’t be a ‘new enemy’ this time. What would the future hold? Would there ever be peace for the Sailor Senshi? Would he and Usagi ever find peace together?

…

_Mamoru stood in a crisp white tuxedo, his heart threatening to thump out of his chest. He began adjusting his cuffs nervously when the orchestra began playing. He looked up and met sparkling sapphire eyes. His pulse accelerated and he quickly forgot how to breathe._

_Usagi stood at the end of the pathway, dressed in pure white dress that flowed around her, caressing her sides as she slowly moved forward. Her hair was done up in her trademark odangos – she had originally had far more intricate plans for their wedding, but he had said that he treasured the style as it reminded her of the day they met._

_But it was her eyes – two gleaming sapphire pools of light that had captured his soul – that stole all of his attention. Her love and compassion always poured from her eyes. And it amazed him that he would be the benefactor of that loving gaze. He truly felt like the luckiest man in the world._

_She smiled and he felt like he had a glimpse of heaven. He forced himself to take in a breath filling his senses with the scent of summer roses._

_The music stopped and for a split second everything was perfect. They were the only two people that existed._

_A second later, the silence seemed deafening. He turned, glancing around. Everything froze in perfect stillness._

_Then the world exploded in sound and heat. The ground itself ripped itself apart, directly under Usagi’s feet. She began to fall into the chasm seemingly in slow motion. Mamoru attempted to dive forward, but something held him back._

_He turned furiously around intending to destroy whatever obstacle prevented his action. He froze when he realized he was staring into his own face._

_“She’s already gone,” the man who was, and yet was not, him said sadly._

_“But…”_

_“You can still save her,” he reassured._

_“How?”_

_“You caused this. Stay away from her and it will never happen.”_

_Mamoru turned to face the gaping crevasse in the middle of the rose garden. The edge was only centimeters away. He forced himself to peer over the edge. He intestines writhed painfully and his throat pushed down into his chest. Her crumpled form lay broken on red glowing rocks below unmoving. Her dress glowed red and orange as the edges burned like paper before a candle._

_He jumped down ignoring the heat and cradled her lifeless body in his arms. Dead clouded eyes looked through him, no longer seeing. He desperately pulled her cold blue lips to his own. She remained icy and unresponsive. Salty tears splashed onto her once flushed cheeks. His throat clogged with despair and anger. This could not be real. He could not accept it._

He awoke panting and shaking. He clutched sheets soaked in sweat and forced himself to breathe, taking in slow measured breaths.

 _It was only a dream_ , he tried to reassure himself. He felt tempted to call Usagi immediately just to assure himself that she was still breathing, but calling the girl at four in the morning was not going to make the best impression on her parents.

It was just a dream, he repeated to himself. His dreams had been slightly prophetic in the past, but since they had defeated Beryl he had been having what he had been told sounded like normal dreams. They baffled him with random and disjointed events.

He tried to convince himself that this dream was just like those others. But he couldn’t. The nightmare was too vivid and its events followed a logical progression – not at all jumbled and nonsensical as ‘regular’ dreams usually were.

But this dream couldn’t be true. He refused to even consider it.

 _The dreams you had before turned out to be true_ , a voice in his head haunted him.

 _Yes, but you misinterpreted them!_ He argued back to himself.

_Can you afford to ignore this dream?_

He tore out of the bed and paced agitatedly back and forth. When the apartment proved to be too confined to work out his frustration, he threw on some shoes and stalked through the mostly empty streets of Tokyo. 

He contemplated just going straight to her house, but he felt she would be angry with him for worrying too much and for jeopardizing what would a carefully “meet the parents” evening. 

He had to wait and trust that even if the dream were true, it was a warning so she was definitely fine at this moment. He continued his directionless meandering walk trying to recenter himself, but he couldn’t manage it for more than a few seconds at a time.

He returned to his apartment an hour before their breakfast date and immediately picked up the phone. He couldn’t wait any longer. He rapidly dialed the number that he had memorized almost two years ago. And he held his breath through each synthetic ring.

“Moshi moshi?” The small voice that reached through the plastic receiver was not Usagi’s. The woman’s voice sounded similar, but more refined.

“May I please speak with Usagi-chan?” he managed to ask, his heart had fallen into his stomach.

“Who is this?” the voice accused suspiciously. “If you know Usagi, you would know that the girl never wakes up before she’s five minutes late.”

“My name is Mamoru,” he said feeling strangely vulnerable. “Please,” he entreated, “I _need_ to talk to her.”

“Oh! Mamoru-san!” the woman’s voice seemed delighted. “Give me a second as I go attempt to wake the dead.”

He flinched at her choice of words.

“USAGI!” he could hear the roar of the woman through his receiver and had to pull the phone away. The long-suffering voice of Usagi’s mother went further than anything in reassuring him that all was well. 

And a few agonizing minutes later Usagi herself could be heard stumbling loudly down the stairs with a complaining, “Oy! Ma-ma!”

Mamoru took an easy breath for the first time since he had awoken from the nightmare.

“The phone is for you Usagi. I think you’ll want to answer it,” her mother explained.

“Moshi moshi?” the sleepy voice imparted through the phone.

“Good morning Usako,” he greeted trying to sound normal.

“Mamo-chan!” she greeted delightfully and then her tone changed. “You’re not cancelling on me are you?”

He laughed. “No Usako. I just wanted to make sure that you woke up early enough to come see me as we had planned,” he said in what he hoped was a calm, smiling tone, hiding the urgency of which he needed to see her.

“You have no faith in me Mamo-chan!” she mock complained.

“Not true Usako. I just miss you and didn’t want to take any chances.”

“Aww!” she squealed. “I love you too! I will see you at seven!” and she hung up the phone with a definitive click.

He dressed for the day and left for the arcade knowing he would still be half an hour early. He could not wait here with his nerves building in tension again as each minute passed agonizingly slowly. Better to wait with Motoki there to distract him.

But he felt much better. Hearing her bright voice went a long way toward soothing him that she was indeed still alive. The nightmare had felt so real. Too real. 

…

Motoki turned over a mug and was about to fill it with the dark blend that was Mamoru’s favorite when Mamoru shook his head. 

“No coffee today, Motoki-kun.” Mamoru felt anxious and jittery enough without the added stimulant.

“No coffee?” Motoki repeated, shocked. “You feeling okay?”

Mamoru was spared from having to answer when Usagi slipped into the stool next to him.

“Morning Motoki-oniisan!” she greeted with her usual brightness. 

Mamoru drank in her presence like he was seeing the sun for the first time in years.

“Usagi-chan! I love it when you join us in the morning. Can I get you something?” Motoki greeted.

“A hot chocolate would be amazing!”

And his friend departed with a smile to make it happen.

Then Usagi turned her attention to him and grinned.

“It’s good to see you,” she said.

“Always,” he said softly. She didn’t hear the catch in his voice.

“Ami-chan didn’t have any useful information,” she whispered. “She said that she hasn’t detected any type of dark energy build up. Hopefully without the energy buildup it was just a one time thing?” she ended asking for him to agree with her. 

“One can hope,” he managed to put together. He had his doubts.

Usagi filled the rest of morning will endless inane chatter. He soaked it all in, still trying to calm his racing erratic heart. He started when he realized that she had cut herself off and studied him carefully.

“Mamo-chan, are you alright? Has something happened?” she asked with genuine concern.

“No Usako. I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep well,” he said and forced himself to smile.

“It’s not like you to stress about finals,” she commented.

He shrugged, not correcting her interpretation of his behavior.

“Well,” she said rising to her feet. “Just a few more days and then we’ll be free.”

She leaned over and kissed him.

_Her crumpled form lay broken on red glowing rocks below unmoving._

“See you later Mamo-chan!” she called back as she dashed away.

He didn’t move for several seconds, feeling shaken to his core all over again. It was just a dream. He repeated the litany over and over to himself even as he forced himself to his feet to exit the arcade.

Mamoru walked a block from the arcade when his chest seized up again in warning. He ducked into an alleyway to transform and leapt to the rooftops above to follow the internal compass. Usagi only had a five-minute head start on him. She couldn’t have made it far.

He saw the birdlike fiend circling the tall buildings first. The creature was the opposite of the shadow beast from the night before in every way possible. Instead of shadow, fiery orange and reds bursts of energy emanated from the flying spirit. It dove down between buildings with an earsplitting caw. The masked man had no doubt who its target was.

He jumped blindly over the edge, knowing he had no time to take in the situation. He arrived just in time to see Sailor Mercury shove Sailor Moon to the side as the flying monster struck. He threw his living projectiles rapidly as the creature soared upward. 

They fell back to the earth with no effect. The creature was too insubstantial. It screeched before it dove viciously down again. This time he was the one who swept Sailor Moon out of the way,taking her slight form and holding it against his own. They fit together as if they were cut from the same stone.

The monster soared upward and vanished once again.

“Where did it go?” he demanded of no one in particular as he searched the sky.

“It’s… gone,” Sailor Mercury reported scanning the sky with her blue visor. “There’s no trace of anything anywhere within a two point five kilometer radius.”

“What is going on?” Sailor Moon asked, “What are these creatures? Why can’t we hurt them?” 

“I don’t know. The enemy doesn’t seem to be after energy,” Sailor Mercury reported. “Both attacks seemed to have a single target – Usagi.”

Tuxedo Kamen froze at this observation. “What do you mean?” he demanded.

“Just that both creatures focused their sole attention on Usagi and then Sailor Moon once she transformed. It was not interested in, or even distracted by, you or I, even though we both attacked it directly. In addition, it showed no interest in going after other civilians.”

“Why would they be after me?” Sailor Moon asked, her voice small.

“Do you think this new enemy knows your identity?” Mercury theorized.

“I hope not!”

Mamoru was only distantly aware of the conversation. He thought back to the dream warning. Usagi was being specifically targeted by the enemy.

“It was not manifested from dark energy,” Mercury confirmed.

“Well, then what is it?” Moon demanded.

“I don’t know. I need more data.”

The dream said he had to stay away from her. Could this possibly be his doing somehow?

“Earth to Mamo-chan?” Usagi called waving a hand in front of his mask, forcing his attention back to the present. “You okay?”

He forced a smile. “Am _I_ okay?” he repeated. “ _You_ were the one that was attacked! _Twice_ now!”

“You worried for me?” she asked playfully.

“This is not a joke!” he said angrily. 

She turned sober.

“Mamo-chan,” she began patiently, “I have to keep things light. You don’t think Mercury’s conclusions terrify me? But if I think about it, I might freeze up and then where would we be?”

“I’m sorry. I just have a bad feeling,” he said with forced calm.

“Well! We’ll just have to chase those feelings away. We still on for this afternoon?”

He nodded. 

She detransformed and kissed him. 

_He cradled her lifeless body in his arms. Dead clouded eyes looked through him, no longer seeing._

She grabbed Ami’s hand and dashed away. “We’re late Ami-chan! You’ll get to serve detention with me today!” she yelled delightedly.

…

Motoki didn’t have time to worry about the fact that his best friend hadn’t shown up for their first final. The restaurant above the arcade was packed full of students that had just finished their first round of exams. So he was busy running from table to table, collecting orders, then back to the kitchen to place the orders.

But Motoki _would_ kill him if Mamoru failed to show up for their presentation tomorrow.

When Usagi slipped into what had become her regular stool next to Mamoru’s usual seat, Motoki seized the opportunity.

“Usagi-chan, have you heard from Mamoru since this morning?” he asked urgently.

“Umm… I saw him once since then. Why?”

“He didn’t show up for his final this morning,” Motoki explained. “And I haven’t heard from him so I’ve been worried something happened to him.”

“That doesn’t sound like him at all, but there was an… accident this morning that may have made him late. I wouldn’t worry Motoki-oniisan! He’s supposed to meet me here anytime now. You can yell at him then,” she said with a reassuring smile.

“An accident? Is he alright?”

“He’s fine! It wasn’t him. Someone else,” she explained vaguely waving away his concern. “But you know how Mamoru is – he always tries to help those in need.”

Motoki smiled indulgently. That didn’t sound like Mamoru at all. Usagi didn’t understand that Mamoru was really only like that with her. He expected everyone else to be pretty self-reliant most of the time.

Well, maybe that wasn’t completely fair. Mamoru had bailed him out on more than one occasion, as well as got him through three semesters of calculus that were better off forgotten.

“Well then, can I get you something while you wait?” 

“A chocolate shake please? And can you make a strawberry one too for Mamo-chan?”

“Coming right up!”

He went up to the kitchen and came right back down with the requested shakes. He added an extra cherry to each and then slid them in front of Usagi. She smiled gleefully at the ‘show’. 

“Thanks Motoki-oniisan!”

“Anytime, Usagi-chan. I’ll be back when I can, but it’s super busy upstairs. If I miss you both be sure to give Mamoru-kun a stern talking to for me!”

“Only for you!” she grinned before happily slurping away on her chocolate shake.

He returned to work serving and taking orders, no longer worried at all. Usagi had a way of just putting all his worries to rest, especially when they concerned Chiba Mamoru.

He wasn’t able to make it back to the arcade floor for a solid thirty minutes. When he came back and found Usagi still there, now spinning forlornly on her stool with her tall glass long since empty, while the strawberry shake still remained untouched.

“Usagi-chan?” he said in conern. “I thought you’d be long gone by now.”

“Motoki-oniisan, may I use your phone?” she asked stoically. His heart went out to her. It was unlike Mamoru to ever leave her waiting and his worries plummeted to new depths. Could something have happened to his cynical friend?

He lifted the barrier between customer and employee workspace and gestured for her to follow. He led her to the employee breakroom and handed her the receiver.

She dialed the number and he stood waiting awkwardly over her shoulder. For a moment there was only silence.

“Mamo-chan!” the relief in Usagi’s voice echoed his own.

“Where are you?” she demanded. 

She paused as Mamoru presumably explained himself. Motoki found himself wishing he could hear the other side of the conversation.

“We’re supposed to be shopping this afternoon… for my parents…?” she reminded him.

She paused briefly again.

“You forgot.”

Motoki cringed at how carefully she controlled her voice.

“Mamo-chan, is something wrong?”

There was a longer break as Mamoru explained something in more detail.

“Mamo-chan…” she began patiently. “This was _your_ idea.”

She listened again before she slowly hung up the phone. She didn’t move for a long second.

“You okay?” Motoki asked, breaking the silence.

She nodded, but did not turn around.

“What did he say?”

“He said that he forgot. That he accidentally double-booked. That he was meeting with an advisor for something about med-school. And that we would just reschedule for sometime after finals,” she managed to convey all this unemotionally, but she didn’t fool Motoki for a second.

He didn’t comment. Motoki knew that the counselor offices were closed during the week of finals. But he had no explanation for why Mamoru would suddenly start lying to his girlfriend.

Not knowing what to say, he just put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

“I can go beat him up for you if you like?” he offered, only half joking.

She laughed. It was small, but it was genuine. He called it a win.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

Motoki nodded. “That’s what big brothers are for right?”

She nodded.

Mamoru was such an idiot. 

…

Mamoru stared distastefully at the stack of textbooks on his coffee table. He had been hoping that attempting to solve impossible differential equations or memorize the name of every muscle in the human body would have been complicated enough to keep him distracted, but he was unable to focus on any of it long enough to make any progress. He had already missed one final, and turned in an almost blank test paper for the second. There wasn’t any point in the exams.

His rumbling abdomen interrupted his pointless musings, but he ignored it. There wasn’t anything to eat in his cupboard anyway.

He had had the dream every night that week. It had become much more difficult to convince himself that it was just a dream. He hadn’t spoken to Usagi in three days. Not in person, not even over the phone. During that time, she hadn’t been attacked once.

He couldn’t help but draw a connection.

He leapt to his feet and kicked the table over sending the heavy books scattering everywhere and a glass shattering to the hard wood floor. Before he could spread the destruction to the rest of the apartment, there was a knock on the door. 

“Just a minute,” he called hastily.

The door opened before he could move an inch and Usagi walked in. His stomach lurched painfully, suddenly no longer hungry. She couldn’t be here.

“Usako!” he shouted. “What are you doing here?”

“I haven’t seen you in days Mamo-chan! And I seemed to miss you every time I called.”

Mamoru looked down guiltily into his hands. That wasn’t strictly true. Mamoru had been screening his calls very carefully.

“I’m sorry Usako. I can’t hang out today. I still have a few finals to study for. Don’t you have one tomorrow as well?” he said trying for any excuse that he could come up with to get her to leave.

“Mamo-chan, I know you’ll ace it. You always do! And I can’t concentrate on anything I’m supposed to be studying because all I can think about is how much I miss you. Please? Just for half an hour?” she pleaded.

His gaze fell into her eyes – eyes that threatened tears. He took a step forward and took her hand without thinking. He had missed her.

_He desperately pulled her cold blue lips to his own. She remained icy and unresponsive._

He gasped involuntarily and managed to pull his hand away.

“Mamo-chan? What happened to your table?” she asked curiously. 

“I…”

“See! You need a break just as much as I do! Come with me,” she ordered. And glancing at the overturned table he found it difficult to argue with her. She dragged him out of the apartment by the elbow.

They walked to a small café across the street from his building and they sat at an outdoor table. He said nothing. His mind was awhirl trying to come up with a reason that he couldn’t see her just then. 

“What’s _wrong_ Mamo-chan?” she asked insistently into the silence. “Why won’t you talk to me?” she asked gently taking his hand that had been resting on the table. 

_She began to fall into the chasm…_

He flinched away.

Her face fell at his physical rejection. His throat constricted painfully. He forced himself to swallow the sudden lump in his throat as he rose to his feet. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t pretend everything was okay. He _had_ to stay away. He wouldn’t survive the consequences if the dream proved to be true.

“I’m sorry Usagi-chan,” he apologized as he rose to his feet. He inwardly felt his own heart breaking as her whole body visibly tensed at the use of her regular name. Her eyes shining a little too bright as she suppressed the tears he knew she wanted to shed.

“Mamo-chan?” she asked looking up at him, her eyes full of anxiety and hurt.

“I… I can’t be with you right now,” he said to her and he fled without explanation.

“Mamo-chan!” she called after him. But he didn’t turn to acknowledge her. In fact, his pace increased.

“I’m sorry Usako,” he cried to himself. He had to stay away. At least, until he knew more.


	3. The Plan

Motoki woke up to incessant pounding on his door. He shook himself awake. Glancing at the clock, it was a quarter after midnight. Reika wasn’t due back for another two days and Motoki couldn’t imagine anyone else arriving at this time of night. The pounding began again.

“Just a second!” Motoki shouted towards the door as he quickly threw on some clothes before hurrying to the answer it. He opened it quickly.

“Motoki! You have to help me! I think I’m losing my sanity,” Mamoru begged.

“You never had anything in that department to lose Mamoru-kun!” Motoki countered with a sleepy smile.

“This is serious!”

“Of course it is,” Motoki said soberly. With Mamoru it always was. “Why else would you be here in the middle of night?” he said as he invited his friend in and closed the door.

“Is this about why you’ve been lying to Usagi-chan?” Motoki asked when they had each taken a seat on Motoki’s nondescript brown couch.

“What?” Mamoru asked, obviously taken aback.

“I overheard your phone conversation last Monday. You told her that you were meeting with an advisor during finals week,” Motoki said coldly.

“Oh,” Mamoru had become as stiff as a board.

Motoki took a deep breath and tried to relax. He needed to set aside some of his own righteous indignation. If he wanted to figure out what was going on he had to be a friend first, and an overprotective big brother second.

“I’m sorry. You came here for help, support, and advice. Not lectures from me.”

“It’s alright,” Mamoru reassured. “I think I’d react with much less patience if I were in your shoes. I don’t deserve you as a friend.”

Motoki grinned. He was certainly not going to argue with that today. “So… what’s up?”

“I’m having dreams again.”

Motoki frowned. Mamoru hadn’t brought up the dreams in years. Motoki had hoped they had been past all that. 

“So Usagi-chan wasn’t your princess after all?” he asked.

“No! Usagi is the princess! The dreams are of her dying…”

Motoki gestured for his friend to continue. He had faith that this all would eventually make sense. Mamoru was nothing if not grounded in reality.

“There’s a man. He’s me Motoki, and he says if I don’t stay away from her, she’ll die.”

“Aren’t you being overly dramatic? They’re just dreams,” Motoki objected.

Mamoru laughed. There was no humor in it.

“They were never just _dreams_!” Mamoru insisted, running his hand through his hair. Whatever was going on, Mamoru was desperate. A state Motoki had really only ever seen him once before – when Usagi had been kidnapped two years ago.

“Alright Mamoru-kun. Just take it from the beginning,” Motoki encouraged. 

Mamoru remained silent for quite a long time. Motoki was beginning to doubt he would ever speak.

“What do you know of Tuxedo Kamen?” he finally asked.

“What?” Motoki asked, not following the train of thought. That was quite the change in subject, especially for his friend. Mamoru actively derided the vigilante every chance he got.

“What do you know of Tuxedo Kamen?” he repeated, quite seriously.

“Nothing really. Just that he has taken out more than his fair share of the youmas that seem to plague Tokyo. That, and his fashion sense is impeccable, if a tad impractical for fighting, and he has a strange obsession with roses. _You’ve_ certainly never been his biggest fan. Why?”

Mamoru held up his hand and a single blood red rose materialized right out of thin air. Motoki’s eyes widened at the implications.

He didn’t move for a long time – just stared at the impossible rose. His mind was spun and spluttered too fast for Motoki to grasp onto any coherent thought.

“Please say something,” Mamoru begged softly. 

Motoki’s eyes shot from the rose to his friend. The stoic, thick-skinned, normally closed off Chiba Mamoru had never looked so vulnerable, not in all the time Motoki had known him. 

He felt incredibly honored to be so trusted. He made himself smile reassuringly at his friend.

“ _Seriously_?” Motoki asked, taking the prickly flower from his friend. “But you have always criticized the vigilantes!” he objected.

Mamoru stared at him flatly. Motoki felt rather slow.

“You mean, all those debates I had to suffer through, where I was ready to strangle you, were just for show?” he demanded, all that frustration had been for absolutely no reason. That Mamoru obviously had agreed with him all along.

“I was trying to protect you,” Mamoru admitted. “I never wanted an enemy to come at me through you.”

“Does Usagi know?” Motoki asked but before Mamoru could answer, he waved away the question. “Of course she does. She was making excuses for you the other day.” 

“Excuses?” Mamoru repeated.

“When you missed your final, she explained that you had been held up by an _accident_. She said that you liked _helping_ people.” Motoki snorted at the description.

“Hey! I _do_ like helping people!” Mamoru objected.

Motoki rolled his eyes, but did not argue. “So I take it that means there was a youma attack?” he prompted.

Mamoru nodded. “Did she tell you that _she_ was the one under attack?” he asked harshly, visibly grinding his teeth.

“ _What_? No! Is she okay?” Motoki demanded, but then once again answered his own question. “What am I saying? Of course she’s okay. She has _you_!” Motoki waved dramatically at his friend as he leapt to his feet and leaned against the wall. 

“How… How did you become… Tuxedo Kamen?” Motoki asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

“The dreams,” Mamoru explained vaguely, staring at the rose that he had just willed into existence. “The dreams showed me who I was. How to fight. Showed me _why_ the fight was necessary.”

Which finally explained why Mamoru had always put so much stock in his dreams. Motoki thought back. Over the years, how many times had Mamoru confided bits and pieces of his impossible world, never able to share completely for fear of putting others in danger. Motoki could only imagine the loneliness that kind of isolation would bring. No wonder his life had changed so dramatically for the better when Usagi entered his life.

“For your princess?” Motoki asked.

Mamoru nodded. “For her, yes. That may have been my personal reason, but the entire earth was in jeopardy and it was my responsibility to protect it.”

“Your responsibility? You alone?”

“I’ve never had to face it alone,” he said softly staring into the distance, his eyes unfocused. “Though I would have, had it been necessary.”

“The Sailor Senshi!”

Mamoru nodded. “They have demonstrated courage and commitment beyond their years.”

Motoki stared at his friend. He had been very careful in the way that he had said that. Motoki was missing something in all of this. Something important.

“Usagi… you said she was your princess… she was the princess for _real_ , you said. She’s Sailor Moon!” Motoki realized. 

And it fit. How many times had the girl dashed away in the middle of a chocolate shake or a double date without explanation with Mamoru only seconds behind? Motoki swept a hand through his hair. How had he been so oblivious?

Mamoru only nodded again. That this was a secret Motoki was not allowed to share went unsaid. Which begged the question, what was going on now that Mamoru had decided to share this secret with him after all these years?

“So that time when she was kidnapped wasn’t an ordinary abduction was it?”

Mamoru shook his head.

“But you got her back!”

He smiled slightly and nodded.

“So what’s wrong now? Tuxedo Kamen and Sailor Moon seems like a pretty good match to me.”

“The dreams! She dies. _Every_ night! She falls into a chasm and I can’t save her. Her body lies broken on the rocks of the earth’s core. The man says it’s my doing and that she’ll _die_ if I don’t stay away from her. I can’t let that happen Motoki! I _can’t_ lose her!”

“And you think they’re definitely true?” Motoki questioned feeling very much out of his depth.

“She’s being attacked.”

“Well, she _is_ Sailor Moon. She’s going to end up in a few altercations,” Motoki countered.

“No! This is _different_! She’s being targeted specifically.”

“Usagi-chan? How do you know?”

“The monsters or spirits that have recently appeared don’t go after anyone else. They don’t even react to the other Senshi or to me when we attack them directly.”

“How’s Usagi taking this?”

“She’s shaken, but she shrugs it off,” Mamoru’s hands were clenched into fists on his knees, the only evidence that he was agitated.

“What do these attacks have to do with you?” 

“It only seems to happen right after she’s been with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“The first attack was when she was on her way home after seeing me – you know, that night you were there. That was also the first night I had the dream. Then the second was after breakfast at the arcade. When she kissed me good-bye that morning the nightmare struck again. And then she was attacked.”

“I then went five days without seeing her and there wasn’t a _single_ attack. She showed up at my place after finals. And I had run out of reasons to be unavailable. The second she took my hand, the vision hit again.”

“Mamoru-kun, this could all be a coincidence.”

“How can I be sure?” he asked softly.

Motoki reluctantly shrugged. He had no answers.

“I cannot let her die,” his friend said brokenly. “Not for real… Not again…”

“Again?”

“In the old dream… In our old life she killed herself. She did it because I was dead. Somehow I was able to see this.”

“In your old life?” Motoki wasn’t sure he was still following.

“And now, it happens _every_ night Motoki. I’m afraid to go to sleep. I can’t face it night after night. I _have_ to stay away. But… but I don’t know how to live without her either.”

Motoki felt he knew the truth of this better than Mamoru. The boy had been obsessed with this girl before he had ever even met her. And the last two years, were not only the happiest he had ever seen his friend, but also the most balanced.

“You should probably talk to her about all this,” Motoki suggested.

“I can’t,” Mamoru said, shaking his head.

“Why not?”

“Because… she’ll choose to _die_. I can’t let her make that choice. I couldn’t survive it.”

“But then… what will you do? You already said you can’t live without her.”

“I don’t know!” Mamoru’s hand raked through his hair once again. “I’ll have to make her hate me somehow. Help her to move on… If she’s happy… I can live with it,” he said. Motoki knew Mamoru was trying to convince himself.

“Mamoru-kun, are you sure?” Motoki was pretty certain that this was a terrible idea. This was a decision that Mamoru was going to regret, probably for the rest of his life – especially if it worked.

“I have to be… So… how do I make her hate me…?”

Motoki sighed painfully, wondering if he should help his friend with this. Mamoru’s face fell into his hands. His desperation convinced Motoki. Of course he had to help. If the boy gave up his princess, he’d have no one else to turn to with all of this.

“You cheat on her,” Motoki said simply.

This pronouncement was met with silence.

“Can you even _do_ that Mamoru-kun?” Motoki asked. “Because if you do, there’s a breach of trust. There’s really no going back. Weren’t you _just_ talking about meeting her parents? Maybe you should sleep on it for a day or two,” Motoki suggested.

“There’s no peace for me in sleep,” he said bitterly.

…

Mamoru couldn’t bring himself to take the extra step Motoki had suggested. He didn’t think he could maintain even pretended interest in another girl long enough to pull it off anyway. Maybe if he just kept avoiding her, not returning her calls, not making any appearance at his usual haunts, she’d get the message eventually right?

Another week went by and the dream warning continued to haunt him, driving away whatever sanity he still clung to. He didn’t understand why he was still experiencing the nightmare. He had listened! He hadn’t seen his rabbit in days. So why did the vision continue to torture his existence night after night?

He sat unshowered and unshaved, leaning against the wall next to the answering machine. The particular space on the floor had somehow become his usual spot. He took a swig of the beer in his hand before hitting play on the machine.

“Four saved messages,” the robotic voice reported.

“Hi Mamo-chan! I miss you!” she said brightly. “Give me a call and we’ll do something fun to celebrate the end of finals. Love you!”

Beeeeep.

“Mamo-chan? Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in awhile and was getting worried. Please call me when you get the chance.”

Beeeeep.

“Mamo-chan?” He could hear the unexpressed hurt in her voice. “Have I done something wrong? Why aren’t you calling me back?”

Beeeeep.

“Mamo-chan,” she sniffled. “I’m sorry I just barged in the other day. I didn’t r-realize you were having a bad day… Whatever… whatever I did… to make you angry... I’m sorry… Please forgive me,” she begged through her tears. 

“End of messages,” the robotic voice finished.

He pushed play again.

“Hi Mamo-chan! I miss you! Give me…

A knock at the door interrupted his self-pitying episode of the afternoon.

“…a call and we’ll do something fun to celebrate…”

He forced himself to his feet and opened the door without thinking. Halfway through the action he realized his mistake and prayed that it wasn’t Usagi. He couldn’t face her – not right now.

“…the end of finals. Love you!”

He breathed a sigh of relief to see Rei standing stoically on the other side already glaring daggers at him. 

Beeeeep.

“Mamo-chan? Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in awhile and was getting worried. Please call me when you get the chance.”

Beeeeep.

Rei raised her eyebrows as the continued recordings played through. 

“End of messages.”

He met her glare stubbornly with one of his own, daring her to say something about it. He would love the opportunity to scream at someone. But much to his disappointment, she did not comment.

“You look awful,” was the first thing she said. He didn’t bother to deem that with a response. He simply moved back into his apartment, leaving the door wide open.

“Usagi sent you,” he said taking another sip from the brown bottle. It wasn’t a question. She stepped into the main room hesitantly.

“She wants me to make sure you’re okay,” the dark haired beauty confirmed, “but that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why then?” he asked emotionlessly.

“I came to threaten you! Unlike Usagi, I _know_ what it means when a guy stops calling.”

“Why don’t you explain it to her then?” he suggested coldly.

“Mamoru-san!” she scolded. “What the _hell_ is wrong with you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“ _Fine_!” she spat. “I don’t actually _care_. Call Usagi! And talk to _her_ about it!”

“Thanks for stopping by Hino-san. As you can see, I’m fine.”

“Is that _really_ what you want me to tell her?” she asked furiously.

“Tell her what you want.”

“Mamoru-baka! You are such a moron! You’re going to lose her if you keep this up and I know you’ll regret that.”

“I didn’t realize you ever cared.”

“I care about _her_. This, whatever _this_ is,” she waved at him dramatically, “is _killing_ her!”

“She hasn’t let go then?” he asked, concern and worry creeping into his voice for the first time.

“Mamoru-san, you’re her lover from a _past_ life! You’re her _soul-mate_!”

He winced. This probably meant he was going to have to use Motoki’s drastic methods afterall.

“I told her that I couldn’t see her right now,” he said lamely.

“You also told her you wanted to take her _shopping_ for an _omiyage_!” she countered angrily.

“She told you that?” he asked, surprised. Then he shook his head. He didn’t know why that bit of information startled him. He was the one that played everything close to the chest. Usagi wore her heart on her sleeve confiding everything to all of her friends. It was one of the many things he loved about her. His throat constricted painfully.

“Yes baka! So what is going _on_?” she demanded.

“Nothing,” he said his anger finally flaring to the surface. He advanced aggressively on his univited guest. “I just can’t be a _slave_ to some past life anymore. It’s not _real_ and it’s not _fair_ to _either_ of _us_.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said not even flinching from his sudden proximity bearing over her.

“I don’t really care what you believe Hino-san,” he said coldly pulling back away.

“You’re timing really sucks! You know she needs you right now with all the attacks.”

His timing had been perfect. Usagi hadn’t been attacked _once_ since he had decided to stay away. That fact alone was all he needed to maintain his resolve. But he needed to make sure that Usagi didn’t get herself killed trying to repair their ‘broken’ relationship.

Which meant… he had to shatter it completely.

…

“Setsuna-chan!” Mamoru called after his mysterious dark haired classmate. 

“Mamoru-kun!” she greeted turning towards him with a genuine smile. “It’s been awhile. How are you?”

“I was wondering, if you weren’t busy if we might grab some dinner?” he said recklessly.

She glanced down at her watch. “I could meet you at the student union in about twenty minutes. I have to go turn in a paper to Professor Takahashi before the five o’clock deadline.”

Mamoru cleared his throat and forced himself to smile. “Setsuna, that’s not what I meant. I was asking you out on a date.”

She looked up at him startled. Then her violet eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?” she asked. “Sweet little young thing that adores you completely?”

“Not anymore,” he managed around the lump in his throat. He didn’t even look away.

“When did that happen?” she asked urgently, her eyes flashed with fear. Her reaction confused him. Why would she be afraid of a break up? When he looked up, her initial terror had flipped back to her usual dignified self. Maybe he had imagined it.

“Setsuna-chan, I’d rather not talk about it. I was asking _you_ out.”

She regarded him for a long moment. He didn’t know what he would do if she refused him. Most of the girls he knew were best friends with Usagi. They’d have nothing to do with him. Unless, of course, he told them what was going on. Surely Minako would see eye to eye with him.

But then, he’d be taking part of her support network and one of her best friends from her. That was the very last thing he wanted. Well, _next_ to last thing he wanted.

“Very well,” she agreed finally interrupting his thoughts. “But,” and she held up an admonishing finger in his face, “ _I_ set the rules.”

There was absolutely no warmth in her tone. It felt like a business transaction. He forced himself to smile. He thought he would feel relieved at her agreement, but he only felt sick to his stomach. He was doing this for Usako, he reminded himself firmly.

_Are you really? Or are you doing it for yourself?_

“So… when were you thinking?” she asked.

…

Setsuna brushed through various dresses in her closet. What did you wear on a first date with a man you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, could not _ever_ love you?

Not that she wanted him to. This date was an exercise in pure reconnaissance. Setsuna had to find out exactly what had happened between her princess and her beloved. The stability of a peaceful future depended on the two of them, though she doubted either of them had even an inkling of their greater destiny, even if they _did_ remember fragments of their past lives. And she couldn’t be sure of that, though she had her suspicions. 

Setsuna, herself, remembered the past far too well. Queen Serenity had needed her aid to send all the senshi forward into the future, but the cost was that she had had to take the journey the long way. And the long way had taken over six thousand years so far.

Setsuna sighed, feeling her own isolation wrap around her like a familiar cloak. When the inner senshi had come together as friends she had thought that her spiritual exile would finally come to an end, but she knew she had to wait until the outer senshi joined them. She had to be the last to take her place in their court. How she longed for that day.

Setsuna selected a simple black cocktail dress. He wouldn’t notice her anyway. She knew better than anyone that he had eyes only for Serenity whatever he said to the contrary.

Once she felt she had made herself presentable for a “first date” she glanced at the clock. She had three minutes. She sighed. She didn’t like abusing her powers for personal reasons, however she really didn’t want to be late to this meeting. She might miss something important. She called upon the Guardian of Space and Time.

Less than half a minute later she materialized in an alleyway across the street from the restaurant. She strolled in confidently letting her gaze sweep across the room. Mamoru was already there. He caught her eyes and waved for her to join him. 

Setsuna took a seat across from her friend, one of her very best, if truth be told, but she doubted he knew that.

“Mamoru-kun, it’s good to see you,” she said warmly.

“You as well, Setsuna-chan. Thank you for agreeing to join me,” his voice contained genuine gratitude, which surprised her.

They chatted about small inconsequential things. It was like preparing for a class presentation. They had common interests and there was plenty to discuss, but they had no chemistry at all, not that she expected them to.

“Mamoru-kun, what are we doing here?” she asked gently with a smile.

Without words he reached forward and took her hand. His inner turmoil struck through her causing an involuntary gasp – his soul was in _agony_. What on _earth_ had _happened_? Had the girl _left him_?

Setsuna simply couldn’t see it. Every glance she had stolen of the princess had shown the girl to be completely smitten with her prince.

“You’ve gone too far Mamoru-baka!” a voice interrupted hotly.

Setsuna looked up to see Hino Rei glaring furiously at her ‘date’.

“I _knew_ you were no different than the rest of them! How _could_ you do this?” she accused.

Setsuna glanced back to Mamoru. He had _wanted_ to be caught with another woman. No doubt he had known that Senator Hino was having a fundraising event this evening and that Rei would most likely be in attendance.

“Hino-san, I tolerated your rude intrusion into my apartment,” Mamoru said icily. “I will remind you again, that my personal life is _none of your business_.”

“You make it my business when you flaunt your betrayal of my best friend in my face!” she screamed.

The tables around them hushed into a tense silence.

“Mamoru-kun?” Setsuna questioned.

“Setsuna-chan, I’m sorry that you had to witness this,” he said rising to his feet and offering her his arm. She took it with an apologetic look towards Rei. She couldn’t reveal that she was in complete agreement with the Martian warrior. She had to stay close to Mamoru to find out exactly what had gone so horribly wrong.

…

Mamoru had been expecting her ever since his date with Setsuna had ended, but he had still dreaded her arrival. He knew what she would ask, and even more terribly, he knew what he had to say in response.

And then there would be no going back.

So when there was a soft knock on the door he didn’t move. His heart raced in anxious panic and he couldn’t breathe. His hands clammed up. 

When the knock struck again, he remembered it was Usagi knocking – and that he was doing this to _save_ her. He used the knowledge to calm himself to some semblance of composure. He took one more deep breath before he swung the door open. 

“Hello Usagi, I thought after Rei’s episode last night that you might show up,” he said distantly as if he didn’t care.

She stepped hesitantly into his apartment. She did not take off her shoes. The assumption that she would not be staying long said that she already knew what his answer would be. And yet, she had come anyway. He wondered, if in her place, he would have been as strong.

“Is it true?” she asked softly.

He nodded not trusting his own voice.

Her eyes threatened tears, but none fell.

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” he said carefully not looking at her face. 

“Seeing as you won’t ever return my phone calls, I don’t see how you expected me to find out at all,” she snapped.

He didn’t respond. He needed her to be angry with him.

“But… what about Serenity and Endymion?” she asked.

“I am _not_ Endymion,” he bit back coldly.

“I see,” she said. He was proud of how well she held her composure. He could feel her heart breaking as if it was his own because… it was.

“You deserve to have someone that is sophisticated and smart like you,” she continued, her voice small. “I won’t bother you anymore. Sorry for making you tolerate me for so long.” Her voice cracked and her eyes watered with tears.

His fist clenched at his side in frustration. How could she think that he just _tolerated_ her? He forced himself not to correct her misperception. Wasn’t the whole point to get her to hate him?

He averted his gaze for a split second, not wanting her to see his own pain. When he turned back she had turned away back towards the door silently, as meek as a mouse.

He had crushed her. He hated himself more than he ever had for anything. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and tell her it wasn’t true – none of it. That he loved her more than life itself, but he let her slip away out of his apartment, out of his life. 

He took more will power than he had ever brought to bear to not go running after her.

…

Motoki had just arrived at Mamoru’s apartment building to drop off some of his missed homework. He soon discovered that the privilege of knowing Mamoru’s secret meant a lot more “covering” for his friend. Motoki realized that Mamoru had used him for this exact purpose for years, but now he that he could be open about what was actually going on Mamoru took advantage more often.

Motoki sighed. He supposed it was better than Mamoru just flaking out and leaving him hanging without explanation. 

He pushed the up button to call the elevator. The door opened with a gentle chime only to reveal a dazed and very lost looking Usagi.

“Usagi-chan!” he cried in concern pulling her out of the elevator.

“Motoki?” she asked vaguely.

“Usagi-chan, what happened?” he winced the moment the words left his mouth. He had a pretty good idea of what had just happened.

She crumpled to her knees, her face dissolving into tears.

“He doesn’t love me anymore…” she whispered in disbelief.

“Why doesn’t he love me anymore?” she asked brokenly through her tears.

Motoki didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell her it wasn’t true, but Mamoru would kill him. 

“What did I do wrong?” she asked.

“Usagi, look at me,” he said firmly, one hand on each of her shoulders forcing her to look up at him. “You did _nothing_ wrong. Do you hear me? _Nothing_.”

“But then… why?”

“He… He’s an idiot,” Motoki told her truthfully, enveloping the young girl in his arms, cradling her head against his shoulder, rocking her back and forth and she shook in grief.

“I can’t do it Motoki-oniisan. I don’t know how to live without him,” she sobbed in his shoulder.

Motoki shut his eyes closed against the familiar words. These two were truly made for one another.

“Yes, you can,” he encouraged her. “You’re one of the strongest, most resilient girls I have _ever_ had the pleasure of knowing.”

“You’re just saying that,” she objected. 

He pulled her away just enough so that he could look directly into her eyes. “Usagi, I have _never_ been more serious.”

He walked her back to the arcade and showered her in free food and shakes. She forced a smile, but he knew it was only for his benefit. The expression contained none of her usual cheer. He waited with afraid to leave her alone her until Makoto arrived to escort her home. He watched her leave with a heavy heart.

“Mamoru-kun, how could you think anything good could come of this?” he asked no one. He would have to knock some sense into his friend.

…

Motoki pounded on the door furiously. There was no answer, but Motoki knew he was there.

“Mamoru! Open this damned door before I have to break it down!” he yelled. 

He reached forward to start his pounding again, when the door flew open. He stumbled forward at the sudden lack of resistance.

“Sheesh Motoki-kun! I was in the shower!”

And this was obviously the case as his friend was only half-dressed and his hair was still dripping wet. 

“How can you _shower_ at a time like _this_?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I just saw Usagi-chan.”

Mamoru’s whole body tensed.

“How is she?” his friend asked tightly.

“She’s heartbroken Mamoru! You can’t _do_ this to her!” 

“She’ll get over it,” Mamoru insisted.

“I don’t know Mamoru-kun… I don’t think she will. You didn’t hear her talking just now. I’m really worried.”

“You think I _want_ to do _this_? You don’t think this is killing _me_?” Mamoru raged.

“But _you_ at least had a _choice_! She has _no idea_ what’s going on! You should at least tell her!”

“I can’t do that! She wouldn’t see sense. I’m doing this to keep her alive! Can’t you…” Mamoru stopped talking abruptly. His eyes squeezed shut as if he was in pain. “I have to go.”

“What?” If Mamoru thought he was going to get out of this conversation by feigning a headache he had another thing coming.

“She is in danger,” his friend explained.

“I _know_!” Motoki shouted back. “That’s what I was saying.”

“No,” Mamoru countered calmly. “She’s under attack.”

“ _What_? How do you know?”

Dazzling light enveloped his oldest and closest friend and Motoki was forced to look away. When he turned back, Motoki’s jaw dropped. It was one thing to know that your best friend was a superhero and another to witness the transformation.

“I always know,” was the crisp reply.

His friend then leapt from the balcony without any hesitation.

“Wow.”

…

The masked vigilante dove and swept Sailor Moon aside from what appeared to be a charging rhinoceros. But once it had stampeded past, the creature resembled a monstrous bear from the rear more than anything else.

Just as before, her tiara had no effect. She threw it again anyway. He followed up her strike with a handful of roses. When the creature made another pass he grabbed her and leapt upward.

Despite the situation it felt good to have her in his arms.

The beast vanished into the ether. And he set her down reluctantly and pulled away putting a good half a meter between them.

“You came! I _knew_ you still cared,” she announced gleefully.

She dashed back into his midriff, throwing her arms around him.

_The edge was only centimeters away. He forced himself to peer over the edge. He intestines writhed painfully and his throat pushed down into his chest. Her crumpled form lay broken on red glowing rocks below unmoving. Her dress glowed red and orange as the edges burned like paper before a candle._

The vision came so strong it left his head swimming. He held himself stiff and gently pried her arms loose.

“Of _course_ I came. I don’t want you to _die_!” he said angrily. “And I don’t want the city subjected to youmas! That _doesn’t_ mean I want to continue dating.”

“But…” she bit her lip as she looked at him mournfully, her eyes watering.

He couldn’t stand it. He wanted to comfort her, but he was also furious, furious that she would ever doubt his willingness to fight. Hell, part of him was angry that she would ever doubt his love!

But he needed her to.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said softly.

“I’m not! Not even _close_ to okay Mamo-chan!”

“Please don’t call me that,” he said coldly moving away. “Stay safe Sailor Moon!” he called as he leapt away once again for what might have been the last time. Hopefully, now that they were broken up, she would have no reason to visit him and this would be the last attack.

…

After a month, Mamoru had settled into an unhappily empty routine. He went through the motions of going to classes and the various odd jobs for temporary or part time work he used to supplement his inheritance. He even let Motoki drag him out on occasion with some of their mutual friends and there were moments where he genuinely enjoyed himself, but they never lasted.

He kept dating Setsuna to maintain appearances. The woman’s willingness to put up with his sullenness and complete lack of interest baffled him, but if she could keep acting as a shield to protect his princess he certainly was not going to complain. Sometimes he even enjoyed a good debate with her, but she never made him laugh or appreciate the sunrise. Not the way Usagi could. 

Usagi hadn’t called him in weeks – not once. He supposed that she had finally gotten it through her head that he wanted nothing to do with her. The thought filled him with icy dread. She also hadn’t been attacked since the bear-rhino, so it was worth it. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. 

He was walking home from class when he turned a corner to see a set of painfully familiar blond odangos. She was deep in conversation with a boy only slightly older than herself. He couldn’t help but notice that the lad bore a superficial resemblance to himself with dark hair and broad shoulders. 

In that moment Usagi burst into laughter. He was torn with the beauty of the painfully familiar voice and with the rage that it had been another to invoke it. He gritted his teeth and forced himself to walk past them without comment.

He made it an entire three steps before Usagi noticed him with a loud gasp and ran after him.

“Mamo-chan!” she called. He should have just kept walking but he found that couldn’t ignore her. He’d have to work on that. Instead he turned around and faced her stoically.

“Usagi, I’ve asked you not to call me that,” he corrected. He prayed that she never stopped.

“Mamo-chan,” she said again ignoring his objection. “Seiya-san and I are just friends,” she assured him.

The scowl on the other boy’s face suggested the stranger wished it were otherwise. And she must have known that. Why else would she feel the need to explain herself to him?

“What do I care?” he said coldly. The sentiment was far from the truth. In reality, he wanted to turn the other boy into a dartboard filled with a very particular set of red roses. “You can do what you want.”

“Mamo-chan…”

He turned away quickly before she could notice his hands were balled into fists. He dared not speak another word less she hear the hitch in his throat.

Part of his heart soared that her relationship with this boy was completely platonic. But he knew that eventually there would a time when it wouldn’t be. That she would eventually move on… 

He had no idea how he would handle that when it happened.

…


	4. Truth

Mamoru slipped into his normal stool. It was dangerous to make an appearance at the arcade, but he really _needed_ to see a friendly face. And Motoki would never let him down. His friend made an appearance quickly with his usual steaming cup of black coffee.

“Thanks Motoki-kun,” he said taking a large gulp of the dark liquid. 

“Mamoru-kun, it’s good to see you out and about,” Motoki said with an encouraging smile. “It’s been awhile since you’ve swung by. I’ve missed you.”

Mamoru didn’t comment. Motoki knew why Mamoru had stopped frequenting the arcade and had nothing to do with his friend.

“You’ll warn me, if you see her coming?” Mamoru asked softly.

Motoki scowled clearly unhappy with the request, but he nodded stiffly anyway.

“So what’s going on with you?” Mamoru asked. “And please tell me something good!” 

“Well…” Motoki began, wiping out a mug. “Reika and I were thinking of moving in together,” he announced casually not making eye contact.

Mamoru sprayed his friend with coffee he was so startled. Motoki carefully wiped his face clean without comment.

“Motoki-kun! That’s excellent news!” Mamoru exclaimed slapping his friend’s shoulder in commiseration. “How did I not know about this sooner?”

Motoki shrugged. “I’ve actually been meaning to bring it up for awhile. We could really use your help with some of the heavy lifting. But…”

“…I’ve been going through a lot and then stopped showing up altogether,” Mamoru filled in for him. “Motoki-kun, I’m sorry! I know I’ve been so completely absorbed in myself lately. You should have said something!” 

Motoki shrugged again, “It’s not that big of a deal. It just seemed to make sense to both of us. She spends half the year out of the country anyway and during that time she either has to put her stuff in storage or pay six months worth of rent for an apartment that she’s not using.”

“Oh, come on Motoki! You and I both know this is way more than a financial arrangement.”

Motoki grinned, slipping a hand into his pocket. Mamoru noticed the movement.

“So when are you going to propose?” he asked.

Motoki blushed, “How did you know?”

Mamoru gestured to his friend’s hand – hidden away. “What’s in your pocket Motoki-kun?”

His friend snatched his hand away from his pocket as if burned.

“Yeah,” Mamoru said, genuinely smiling for the first time in weeks, “that’s what I thought. I take it you won’t show it to me?” he asked. 

“Normally, I would Mamoru-kun, but… I want her to be the first to see it,” Motoki admitted.

Mamoru nodded, not at all offended. “Well, I’d wish you luck, but I don’t think you’re going to need it. When it’s time to move, just let me know and, rain or shine, I will be there.”

“Thanks, Mamoru-kun. I will hold you to that.”

Mamoru gulped down the rest of his coffee and enjoyed the bustle of noise of the arcade for a moment. He really had missed this place. Surely he knew Usagi’s schedule well enough to be able to visit from time to time without running into her.

“So how’s business? Any new faces?” Mamoru asked as casually as possible. “Who’s this new Kou Seiya kid that’s been hanging around?”

Motoki considered him for a moment.

“Mamoru-kun, you can’t have it both ways,” Motoki said flatly.

Mamoru’s good mood evaporated. He hadn’t mentioned Usagi, but the fact that Motoki was scolding him suggested that even _he_ had already linked the two names in his head. Which was all the answer he needed really.

“I know…it’s just…” Mamoru tried to cut in, but Motoki wasn’t finished.

“If you want to push her away, you _have_ to let her move on. And I will _not_ be your _spy_ into her personal life,” he said firmly.

“I wouldn’t want you to be,” Mamoru said with a sigh. He just wanted to be part of her life in some small way. “Just… tell me that she’s okay.”

“She’s not,” Motoki said bluntly.

“Motoki-kun,” Mamoru began defensively, recognizing the comment for the attack that it was.

“ _Look_ , you don’t have to justify yourself to me,” Motoki said with forced patience. “Trust me. I get it. I can’t imagine being in your position, and I have no idea if I’d do anything differently. But… it’s hard Mamoru-kun. I love that girl like a sister. It’s hard to watch her in such pain and not be able to do anything to fix it. I wish I could tell her what was happening.”

“Motoki-kun,” Mamoru growled warningly. 

“I haven’t told her anything!” he assured rapidly. “Not even about knowing her identity. And if I’ve been giving her a few extra shakes on the house, I’m sure she’s attributed that to her current depression.”

“And I won’t!” Motoki promised at Mamoru’s continued death glare. “But I still think _you_ should.”

Mamoru chose not to comment. He didn’t really want to argue with one of the only friendly faces left in his life.

“Well, thanks for the coffee Motoki-kun,” Mamoru said as he rose to his feet. “And for the good news! First thing I’ve had to smile about in a long while.” 

“I’ll let you know how it goes,” Motoki said with a smile.

“I look forward to it,” Mamoru waved a farewell. “Let me know when you need my help.”

He left through the automatic doors. The second the cold winter air struck his face, his momentary emotional high disappeared. He was so happy for his friend. Motoki and Reika were fabulous together – they always had been.

But Mamoru couldn’t help the envy that rose up within him. He wanted the same thing for himself, but that dream of a happily married Mamoru and Usagi had never seemed further away.

He glanced down at his watch. He was late to his lunch with Setsuna. He had never felt less like going, but he had nothing else to fill his day with.

When he arrived, Setsuna had her nose buried in a notebook filled with what looked like physics equations. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he said taking the seat opposite her in the outdoor café.

“Don’t worry about it Mamoru-kun,” she said absently not sparing him a glance. “I need to finish up this problem set anyway.”

Then she continued to ignore him as she faced the notebook with intense concentration. She scribbled out unfamiliar equations on another piece of paper and occasionally flipped back through her notes. He didn’t feel compelled to ask what she was working on.

“Do you have an extra pencil I could borrow?” he asked instead.

She handed him the requested tool, again without looking up from her work. Had they actually been dating, he had a feeling that her lack of attention would have irritated him immensely. As it was, it was a relief not to have to engage her in the level of intellectual conversation they normally enjoyed.

Instead, he took the pencil and began tracing out an elaborate water fountain on the plain white napkin. And once the fountain was in place, he surrounded it with a small dirt pathway, surrounded by rosebushes. When he finished the outlines, he began adding details.

Their food had long since arrived, but they both ignored it. She intent on her studying and he focused on his latest rendition of the rose garden.

“Sorry about that Mamoru-kun,” Setsuna said, putting away her notebook and turning toward the bowl of miso soup. “Working on my relativity class always takes away all my concentration. Einstein had a very… _unique_ perspective on the fabric of space-time that just doesn’t quite line up with my own understanding of the subject. Of course, my professors don’t think much of my own theories on the topic. I suppose that’s why I’m working on the degree.”

“Uh huh,” he said absently as he used his fingers to smudge the interior of his fountain, giving it a smoother look.

“Not that I am arrogant enough to think I know more about the topic than Einstein,” she continued. “He made some huge breakthroughs in our understanding of the universe. It’s unfortunate that he died such an unhappy man.”

“What made him so unhappy?” he asked only half aware of their conversation. There was something missing from the drawing. He tapped the end of the pencil on the table in frustration. 

“He made so many breakthroughs in the first half of his career, but towards the end he made very little progress on any of the projects he was working on.”

“How frustrating,” he commented not sure if he was referring to himself or the physics professor. He had drawn the picture from Serenity’s perspective he realized. Her hand needed to be reaching for the rose in the foreground. He began tracing the outline. 

“He kept using the same methods. He assumed that because his methods had always worked so well in the past, that the same would always hold true. He didn’t realize that the whole landscape of his field had changed.”

He glanced up from his drawing. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re not just talking about Einstein anymore?”

“I don’t know Mamoru-kun,” she said innocently. “Are you seeing…”

She cut off abruptly. Mamoru glanced at her in concern.

“What is it?” he followed her gaze toward the staircase that rose out of the ground from the subway station. 

His visual search landed on a set of familiar crystal blue eyes framed by the golden waterfalls of her trademark odangos. All the air left his lungs as he lost himself in her eyes for the first time in weeks.

“Mamo-chan,” Usagi said with a small voice, breaking the moment by looking down. He wanted nothing more than to leap from his seat in that moment, gently urge her head back up so that he could kiss her breath away, and never let her go.

He held himself rigidly in his seat.

Usagi glanced toward Setsuna. “I mean, Mamoru-san,” she corrected hastily. “I… I didn’t expect to run into you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your date.”

“It’s fine Usagi-chan!” Setsuna reassured instantly. “You’ve interrupted nothing! Why don’t you join us?” Setsuna invited warmly, kicking out an unused seat from under the table.

Mamoru glanced sharply at his dark haired date even as he carefully flipped over his sketch. Setsuna wouldn’t recognize the significance of the rose garden, but he knew Usagi had a similar drawing taped to her own vanity.

Usagi shook her head, suddenly tears evident in her eyes. “I can’t,” she managed. “I have to go… study.” And she retreated back down the stairs into the subway station.

Setsuna turned an accusatory glance his way, as if his presence alone had scared the young blond away. As if she _wanted_ his ex-girlfriend sitting at the table with them.

It did not make _any_ sense. But then, Setsuna’s behavior in their ‘relationship’ had baffled him since the beginning. He had never felt motivated enough to figure it out. 

“Why did you hide your drawing?” she demanded and snatched the napkin from him before he could pull it away.

She took in the rendition and gasped.

“Mamoru-kun… I didn’t know you were an artist.”

The shock on her face made him decidedly uncomfortable. He snatched the sketch back from her hands.

“It’s beautiful. A place out of a dream,” she said eerily. It was like she could see through him and he hated the feeling.

“It’s just a sketch,” he said defensively. 

“A sketch of something fundamentally important to you,” she said lightly. 

He fidgeted under her gaze. 

“Setsuna-chan, I have to go,” he said abruptly, no longer able to stand her presence. He stood leaving the napkin conspicuously behind. Taking it with him would have exposed his dismissal of its significance for the lie that it was. He could always make another one.

She nodded gracefully. “Fine. Next time we meet… we really need to talk.”

He had no allusions about what they needed to discuss. He had been amazed that she had stayed with him this long.

“’Til then,” he said with a small wave. He couldn’t even bring himself to smile at her. Not after seeing Usagi.

…

Motoki pulled on the apron and walked from the kitchen to start his shift.

Usagi was the only customer sitting at the counter. She sat on her stool with her head hidden in her arms.

“Usagi-chan?”

“She’s _so_ nice Motoki-oniisan!” she cried lifting her head up just enough to rest her chin on her forearms.

“Who?”

“Mamoru’s new girlfriend!” she exploded. “Setsuna? I think her name is?”

“He’s dating _Setsuna-chan_?”

How on earth had Mamoru convinced Setsuna to go along with the hairbrained scheme? Goodness knew Setsuna held absolutely no romantic interest for their friend. He had actually attempted to set them up once years ago before either of them had met Usagi. She had laughed hysterically in his face. She had told him quite confidently that she was simply not his type.

“You know her?” Usagi asked wistfully. “Then you must know that she’s so pretty _and_ intelligent… just like Mamo-chan. Graceful and sophisticated in a way that I can never be.”

“Usagi-chan, that is simply not true,” he objected.

“I understand why now,” she continued as if she hadn’t heard him. 

“Usagi-chan, I’ve watched the two of them interact for years. There’s _nothing_ between them. They feel nothing for each other. Mamoru loves you,” Motoki assured, wondering if he was overstepping himself and saying too much.

“I wish that were true!” she wailed shoving her head back into her arms.

“What’s got you down Odango Atama?” a voice asked.

Motoki scowled at the dark haired young man that had just entered. But Kou Seiya was not intimidated by him at all… unfortunately.

“Seiya-san,” Usagi groaned. “I don’t have the energy to fend you off today.”

“So don’t,” he said with a cocky grin taking Mamoru’s regular seat.

She sighed.

“Usagi-chan, is this man bothering you?” Motoki interjected smoothly.

She eyed him sharply.

“No Motoki-oniisan. Seiya-san is just trying to cheer me up. He doesn’t know that it’s a lost cause,” she said darkly.

…

Mamoru had considered avoiding Setsuna for a few days after her declaration of wanting to talk. But in the end he saw no reason to avoid their eventual ‘break up’. It had been a long time coming. He and Setsuna had somehow been ‘dating’ for nine weeks. The longest most miserable nine weeks of his life.

Not that that was her fault. He certainly didn’t feel any animosity toward his long time friend. In fact, he felt grateful for her unknowing aid. He truly hoped he had not ruined their friendship with this whole fiasco, though he couldn’t see how that was possible.

So here he was sitting in a restaurant that was unfortunately too nice for paper napkins. The food was probably delectable – Setsuna had particular tastes when it came to food – but Mamoru wouldn’t know. His chopsticks had mostly just stirred the food around – pushing the course off to side giving the illusion that he had eaten more of it than he had.

Surprisingly, Setsuna hadn’t even held up any pretense of eating. Her plate sat untouched.

“Food not to your liking?” he asked.

“I’m sure it’s exquisite… Mamo-chan.”

He stiffened.

“Setsuna,” he said tightly. “That is a name I’d rather you did not use.”

“But why not Mamo-chan?” she said with false giddiness, ignoring his objection. “It’s rather endearing.”

He glared at her. “Setsuna,” he growled warningly.

“It’s obvious that she’s still completely head over heels in love with you,” she interrupted flatly.

Mamoru said nothing.

“Why did you leave her?” she asked, her violet eyes pierced through him.

“That’s not really any of your business,” he said coldly, pushing his food to a different corner of the plate.

“Isn’t it though? You have never felt anything for _me_. We _both_ know that.”

“You don’t seem too broken up about it,” he commented.

“So why not stop this farce?” she asked. “You’re making a total mess of things Endy. It’s so unlike you.”

He froze and stared at her. She smiled at him mockingly.

“What did you just call me?”

“Endymion. That’s your name isn’t it? One of them, anyway. Not that you’re doing a very good job of living up to it. The Endymion I remember never let anything stand in the way of _his_ forbidden love.”

“And look at how _that_ turned out!” he snapped angrily.

“Ah,” she said serenely. “So you _do_ recognize the name, which means you remember.”

He said nothing, embarrassed that she had pushed him into the admission especially when he had no idea who she was that she would have come across that particular information.

“Who are you?” he demanded softly.

“I’m Meioh Setsuna. Your friend and classmate, same as I’ve always been for the last three years.”

“But how do you know of my past?”

She smiled. “Let’s just say I remember my past life a lot more clearly than you remember yours because I never actually died. And I remember your love affair bringing two cultures that were long shrouded in misunderstanding and prejudice, out of the darkness into a long era of peace and prosperity.”

He laughed cynically. “That’s not how I remember it, _at all_.”

“That’s because the story is not finished yet,” she said smoothly.

“You think you know how the story ends?” he challenged.

“I am Sailor Pluto, the Guardian of Time and Space. My role is to protect the timeline – past, present, _and_ future.”

“So _you_ get to decide what the future is supposed to be for everyone?”

“Such indignation, Endymion!” she said with dancing eyes. “You haven’t changed at all.”

“I prefer Mamoru,” he corrected coldly. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

“Time doesn’t work the way most people think it does. It’s not a straight line. And despite what you always seem to assume in every lifetime, I do not _direct_ it’s flow. I simply have more awareness than most of the direction it is going. But I don’t actually know the future. It’s not set. I just see glimpses of possibilities,” she explained.

“And you think I’m making a mess of things,” he commented hoping to inspire some elaboration.

“I do.”

“Why?”

“You must be with Serenity.”

“Serenity is dead,” he said icily.

“She lives on in Usagi,” she countered gently.

“I will not be a slave to some past life,” he insisted like a broken record. There was no feeling behind the words.

“Nor should you. But you have never been a slave to it Mamoru-kun. Being with her, it’s what you _want_. So tell me the _real_ reason you’ve decided to hurt that lovely girl.”

Mamoru regarded her suspiciously. She was a senshi – that meant her first loyalty was to her princess. Anything he confided in her could make it back to Usagi.

On the other hand, Usagi didn’t really even know Setsuna except in passing through him. And as the Guardian of Time and Space she probably had some expertise with prophecy even if she didn’t know exactly how the future would turn out. If anyone could help him interpret the dream warnings, it was probably her.

“She dies if I stay with her,” he finally admitted.

“The world dies if you don’t,” she countered.

“The world be damned,” he said bitterly. The world wasn’t worth anything to him if Usagi wasn’t in it. 

“Do you think she would agree with that sentiment?” Setsuna challenged. 

He said nothing. It was hardly a fair question. Usagi’s duty was to the world. His was to her.

“Have you ever considered what her life would be like without you?” she continued her interrogation. “How’s yours going right now, without her?”

Pretty miserably… but he was not about to admit this out loud though Setsuna didn’t need to hear the answer. She knew the answer. She had spent more time with him in the last nine weeks than anyone – put up with his sullen moods and quiet fits of self-pity with patience and understanding. How long had she known what was going on, he wondered.

“Have you forgotten Mamoru-san? She _killed_ herself when she lost you the last time. Even if she doesn’t take that route you will never be able to call this life living.”

The words whirled in his head. He said nothing and she did not seem to be at all uncomfortable in the silence that ensued. She just kept regarding him with her own dark eyes.

“I can’t do it Setsuna,” he finally admitted raking both hands through his hair. “I can’t even look at her – let alone touch her – without seeing her dead eyes staring through me. I can’t face seeing her everyday with that vision echoing every action she takes, every word she speaks, every touch…” he cut off as his throat suddenly closed up.

She did take his hand then, the most physical affection she had ever shown him. But it was as a friend comforting another. He closed his eyes and squeezed her hand gratefully.

“How do you even know this will happen?” she asked gently.

“The dreams…”

“ _Dreams_?” she repeated incredulously. “You’re basing your decisions on your dreams? How do you know that these aren’t just your fears manifesting?”

“They’ve never been wrong. Even when I didn’t understand them, they were still always true…”

“And what if an enemy knew that? And sent you false visions to destroy you?”

He had never considered it, but it hardly mattered. Since he had stopped seeing Usagi, she had yet to be attacked.

“I don’t think that’s it. Breaking it off seems to be working,” he explained. 

“You mean the dream stopped?”

He shook his head. “No, the attacks stopped.”

“Since you stopped seeing her?” she asked. He nodded.

“Interesting. That does suggest a connection between the two. It could still be an enemy that is using classical conditioning against you. We should test this.”

“I can’t take the risk,” he insisted. “I cannot let her die.”

“We all die eventually Mamoru-kun. The point in life is not how or when we die. But how we live.”

Mamoru remained silent.

“Consider what I have said Mamoru-kun. You are wrong to trust in prophecy more than your own heart. Time does not flow in the way most expect. Trust _me_ ,” she rose to her feet and left him contemplating her words.

…

Two days had passed since his meeting with Setsuna and Mamoru still felt uncertain. He must have picked up his phone half a dozen times. Once he even made it half way through Usagi’s number before he slammed the phone receiver back into its base. He wanted to see her – hear her voice if only for a second.

But what if Setsuna was wrong and the dream was a true prophecy? He couldn’t call her or initiate any contact. If he did, he’d never be able to convince her that he didn’t want to be with her. That would put him back to square one in convincing Usagi to stay away. The thought filled him with dread.

He stumbled into the little table that held the phone as his chest tightened in warning. Usagi was under attack.

The warning was so unexpected that he stood frozen in disbelief. He hadn’t seen Usagi at all. He felt betrayed. He hated the dream, but it had promised that he could save her if only he stayed away. But if staying away wasn’t enough…

He pushed himself into motion. She couldn’t be far. She had left his apartment only moments earlier. Her found her three blocks away almost to the park opposite what he could only describe as a serpentlike dragon.

She stood facing the impossible long coiled creature with her eyes closed, complete acceptance on her face.

“Sailor Moon!” he screamed furiously. The creature poised to strike. She did not move and she wasn’t going to, he realized. He surged forward and shoved her aside, taking the blow himself.

“Tuxedo Kamen!” she screamed shrilly.

Strangely, the spirit’s fangs passed straight through him. He did not question it. Instead he scooped the young herorine into his arms and leapt to safety.

“Why did you just _stand_ there?” the masked man demanded as he let her back to her feet.

Sailor Moon looked up at him defiantly.

“I don’t have to explain myself to _you_ , Tuxedo Kamen!” she bit back.

“I can’t keep you safe if you throw yourself _at_ them!” he shouted.

“No one _asked_ you to keep me _safe_!”

“Hey bakas!” Sailor Mars interrupted as she shoved them both aside as the dragon beast struck again. “It’s time to fight now. You can have your lovers’ spat later!”

“It was _not_ a lovers’ spat!” Sailor Moon insisted childishly, dodging the beast’s next strike expertly.

Tuxedo Kamen suppressed a grin. As angry as he was with the lunarian senshi, he always enjoyed watching her fight. It was when she was the least self-conscious and the most graceful.

Sailor Mars let loose a stream of fire, but the creature vanished before it got there. 

“Yeah, that’s right!” she screamed at the empty air. “Run away scared!”

Sailor Moon began to march away from them both without another word.

“Sailor Moon!” he shouted after her. She ignored him completely.

“She doesn’t have to speak to you, Tuxedo Kamen!” Mars chastised. He turned toward her in hope. 

“Sailor Mars, listen to me,” he said seriously, ignoring her blatant hostility. 

“No! I…”

“Sailor Mars! Don’t leave hear alone,” he hissed. “She was going to let that monster just take her.”

“What do you mean?” she asked harshly.

“She just stood _there_. She was going to _let_ it strike her.”

“I wonder why _that_ is!” she shouted at him her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

He looked down.

“Sailor Mars, please. Just keep her safe,” he begged.

She didn’t say anything for a long time.

“We’ll take care of it, Tuxedo Kamen,” she said genuinely. “Never fear.”

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“We don’t do it for you,” she said coldly before stalking off after her friend.

He watched them leave until they were out of sight.

“So you see, you _are_ a regular Einstein.”

Tuxedo Kamen jumped at the unexpected familiar voice in his ear. He whirled to face Setsuna outfitted in a black and maroon sailor fuku.

“What do you want?” he demanded. 

“Just to point out that she is in more danger now than she ever was being attacked _every single day_ firm in the belief that you would _always_ stand by her side.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that you planted this idea in her head to force my hand,” he said angrily.

“Ah, but you do know better. I would never put her highness in danger to make a point. But the point does remain. Your methods aren’t working. It’s time to reconsider your strategy.”

“Go away,” he ordered harshly.

“Very well, your highness,” she said formally. She bowed and then just vanished.

…

Sailor Pluto cursed the timing of the latest attack. She had been certain that she had gotten through to her thick-skulled prince at dinner, but she was also certain that the attack had thrown him right back to panicked reaction instead of reasoned thought.

Multitudes of timelines were collapsing together and the possibilities remained cloudy to her inner vision. She knew that meant that she was too involved in the events that were unfolding. If she removed herself from the situation then the flow of time would reveal itself to her again. But she wouldn’t be able to impact events any longer.

Which was a tradeoff she could not afford, not when Mamoru refused to include the other Senshi in all that he knew. Setsuna cursed in ten different dead languages. She _hated_ flying blind.

She needed more options and more information. She needed to see his dream. She had avoided the possibility for so long – such exercises always felt like an invasion of privacy even when she had permission, which she most certainly didn’t now.

Well, there was no point in stalling. It was definitely late enough for him to be asleep. Before she could change her mind, she teleported into the familiar living room where she had spent time with both Motoki and Mamoru mostly, preparing for midterms and finals in her latest attempt to earn a degree – an exercise she forced herself through every twenty years or so when she was looking to young to pass herself off as an expert in a field.

She had intended to move directly toward her target, but pulsing lights to her left called for her attention. She turned toward his bookshelf, the source of the light. One of the shelves had been cleared of books and held four beautifully cut and polished stones.

The first two appeared to be different types of jade. The third was a multicolored mineral. The rose interior was surrounded by deeper green swirls. It reminded her of a rose. The last piece was an almost translucent crystal of a pink violet hue. 

The stones had been there for years. She had always assumed that they were just ordinary stones left out for decoration. The pulsing light suggested the pieces were far more. Their rhythm felt familiar and she picked up the closest one – the crystal.

Jumbled visions assaulted her and she almost dropped the pale pink stone. The guardian spirit communicated to her through the rock from Elysian. Which meant she held the remains of one of the Shittenou.

“Kunzite?” she whispered feeling the presence. She smiled when the stone brightened. “You’re still protecting him?”

The stone pulsed again.

_She found herself in a Japanese garden. A small footbridge arched over a babbling brook. Smooth round rocks covered in green moss banked both sides of the happy stream of water. Cherry blossoms drifted down from the cerulean blue sky completing the atmosphere of peace and absolute serenity._

_‘Sailor Pluto,’ the white haired general greeted. ‘It’s been a long time.’_

_She turned and found herself faced with the four Terran guardians._

_‘Too long,’ she agreed with a warm smile._

_‘Welcome to Elysian,’ they chorused._

_‘To what do I owe the pleasure?’_

_‘We have been unable to communicate with Endymion.’ Jadeite informed her._

_‘The nightmare that he is experiencing walls him off from anything other guidance,’ Nephrite added._

_‘So we are delivering our message to you Guardian of all of time,” Zoisite said formally. ‘The spirits that are attacking are not your enemy.’_

_‘They’re not? What is it then?’ she asked. The creatures seemed strangely bent on the princess’ destruction._

_‘The earth,’ Kunzite stated simply._

_‘I don’t understand.’_

_‘Endymion is alone as he was never meant to be. He’s completely untrained. He doesn’t know what he’s doing,’ he elaborated._

_‘What_ is _he doing?’ she asked._

But before they could answer, she was back in Mamoru’s apartment and the stones had grown cold and dark. She placed the crystal back on its setting. 

“Thank you Shittenou. You continue to serve your prince well,” she whispered. Knowing that there was not a malicious force behind the attacks was reassuring. The Terran prince was at the center of all this – the key to figuring out what was going on. She turned her attention back to her original purpose.

She stepped into his bedroom and stood over his sleeping form. She used her abilities to keep him unconscious. Using her staff she channeled her power to create some light. She would not skulk around like an assassin.

The light revealed the full sized and colored version of Mamoru’s drawing of the rose garden. Princess Serenity stood over the fragrant flowers breathing in their essence. The portrait filled her with nostalgia and she fought back tears. How she missed the millennium when her role and responsibilities were public knowledge. She was so tired of being alone. She didn’t want to wait for humanity to grow spiritually enough to be ready for that.

But she had to. Her unfortunate exile was not going to end any time soon. 

That future will come, she promised herself. That’s why she was here. 

She turned back to the Terran Prince. Was she really about to do this? Eavesdrop on her prince’s dreams? She still felt like she was betraying her oath and invading his privacy.

And if he had been an ordinary guy she would have left well enough alone. But his personal life affected far more than his own health. But he needed aid – training the Shittenou had said. She wasn’t exactly sure how, but he was putting the whole world at risk. If he couldn’t recognize that fact, she had to force his hand. 

She placed a hand on his forehead and mentally searched his aura for the implanted vision. It wasn’t particularly hard to find – it had taken over his being, woven too deep for her to remove without destroying what made him him. 

“Forgive me,” she whispered before triggering the nightmare.

She watched as her friend violently struggled against the vision in his sleep, but she kept him asleep even when he would have torn awake in fear. She needed to see the entire scene playout.

_She would have smiled at seeing Usagi in her wedding dress if she hadn’t known what had to be coming. And when the silence struck, she stood stoically and watched as her princess fell to her death._

_She did start in surprise when it was Mamoru himself that held the groom back. He had sent the warning to himself? It appeared that way. Though with a dream it was easy to take on the form of whomever you wished. But it could prove important. He had failed to mention this detail to her._

_She watched as he cradled the dead princess in his arms shamelessly weeping._

Once it was over, she urged him back to a fitful sleep, wishing him at least some small amount of peaceful rest. Her blessing wouldn’t last more than a few hours. The vision would attack again before the night was over. She could not protect him from it. But she could grant him this short respite.

She looked down like a protective mother for a moment before she transported herself to another bedroom. This one different from the one she had left in every way possible. Where Mamoru’s apartment remained almost Spartan, Usagi filled every inch with plush animals – mostly bunnies – volumes of various mangas, and pictures of a certain stoic black haired stubborn prince.

Sailor Pluto caressed the bangs from her princess’s face gently. The girl dreamed longingly for her prince. Her spirits were low – far too low for the senshi’s liking. Did she really want to give the girl this nightmare? 

But then maybe the truth was exactly what the princess needed to bolster her determination to never give up. The blond girl reacted even more violently to the nightmare than Mamoru had. The guardian forced Usagi to stay asleep for the entire vision, which she would have experienced from Mamoru’s perspective – not her own.

Sailor Pluto faded into the shadows and carefully made sure all the other residents were asleep before releasing Usagi from her compulsion to sleep. 

Usagi immediately bolted upright in tears, clutching at a picture by her bed. She suddenly tossed the portrait on the nightstand, threw on some shoes, and ran out the door. 

Sailor Pluto smiled. Perhaps Mamoru wouldn’t have to suffer through a rerun of his nightmare tonight afterall.

…

The erratic drumming woke Mamoru. It took him a second to realize that there were no drums. Someone was attempting to break down his door. Last time it had been Motoki. He glanced at the clock – it was three in the morning. He doubted it was Motoki this time.

“Mamo-chan!” the familiar voice screamed as she pounded on the door. “Let me in!”

“Usako?” he asked sleepily making his way toward the door. He quickly shook himself into a more alert state. She couldn’t hear him call her that.

“Usagi? What are you doing here?” he said as he opened the door a crack. She pushed it the rest of the way open. His heart broke at the sight of her. She was tear-stained and panic-stricken in her pajamas no less. He longed to wipe away her tears. 

He kept his hands carefully folded behind his back.

“Mamo-chan, have you been having nightmares?” she asked.

He felt every muscle in his body tense.

“You have!” she accused. “Why didn’t you tell me? This is why you broke up with me! Why you’ve been so distant. But you still care… I know you do! You did this to save me! But it’s stupid Mamo-chan!”

“Usako,” he said finally letting his emotions show. “He said you would die…”

“I don’t care!”

“Well, I do!” he snapped. She stared at him in silence. He tore himself from her gaze. “You can’t be here,” he insisted, pushing her out the door.

“Mamo-chan!” she objected. “It’s my life! It should be my choice!”

“I won’t let you kill yourself!” he said harshly.

And she was silent again.

“But… this is so much worse than dying…” she said so softly he almost didn’t hear her.

“Usako…”

“I risk my life everyday to protect this world. Why can’t I risk my life for love? Isn’t love more important than anything, Mamo-chan? Isn’t it worth dying for?”

“Usako… you have to leave. Go home. Forget about me.”

“I’ll do that if you can say you honestly don’t love me anymore,” she challenged from the other side of the threshold. He closed the door in her face.

“Usako…” he pleaded hitting his head against the closed door.

“I love you Mamo-chan. It’s silly for us to be apart,” she called through the barrier.

“Go home Usako!” he ordered. When it became silent he assumed that she had done so. He moved back into his living room, his heart fractured into a new set of pieces. How would he keep her away _now_?

“She’s right, you know,” Setsuna’s voice drifted out of the darkness.

Mamoru turned to her in a rage. She was there dressed in her Sailor fuku. 

“You did this! You showed her the dream!” he accused.

“She had a right to know. What you were doing to her was killing her… literally. At least now, she knows why.”

“You had no right to interfere!”

“She is my princess! And I owe my first loyalty to _her_! Not to _you_!”

Mamoru trembled. Her loyalty to the princess was going to get the girl, _his_ girl killed.

“Get out!” he screamed. She didn’t bother with the formal bow this time.

No sooner had Sailor Pluto disappeared then his chest knotted itself into the usual warning signs that Usagi needed him. Why did none of them understand? _This_ was the reason he had tried so hard to keep her away. 

…

He arrived seemingly too late. There was no beast or creature anywhere within site. Sailor Moon lay collapsed, unmoving on the ground.

“Usako!” he cried, running to her side. If all this had been for nothing, he’d never forgive himself.

He turned her over gently and found her still breathing, but there was a disturbing amount of blood oozing from her head. He quickly channeled the energy he needed to heal the head wound. Her skin rapidly knit back together and he wiped the blood off her face with a handkerchief. She showed know signs of waking.

“Usako, please,” he begged softly. “I cannot lose you now. Not after all this torture I’ve put us through.”

“I knew you still loved her,” a cold voice accused from behind.

He whirled to find Sailor Venus her eyes piercing through him with accusation, the other three Senshi right behind her. Sailor Mercury already had her mini super computer out.

“Why isn’t she waking?” Tuxedo Kamen asked after a moment, ignoring Venus’ first comment. 

“She’s trapped in some sort of nightmare,” Mercury reported. “I think the thing went _into_ her. Her heart rate is dropping and her aura is fading. She’s dying, but I don’t know why.”

“There has to be something we can do,” Tuxedo Kamen insisted.

Mercury’s attention never left the screen. She shook her head, “ _That’s_ night good.”

“Sailor Mercury, I swear you could give lessons to a spy about not letting the important things slip,” Venus said in resignation.

“ _What’s_ not good?” Tuxedo Kamen asked at the same time. 

“She’s not fighting,” the bluenette reported.

“Why isn’t she fighting?” Jupiter demanded. “She never gives up!” 

“She has no reason to fight,” Mars said cynically shooting sparks at a certain prince.

“Mars, you’re a genius!” Venus declared.

“Not that a mind the label, but what am I genius for exactly?”

Venus ignored her fiery friend and instead turned toward him. “You can bring her back. _You_ can give her a reason to fight.”

“She can’t hear me Venus,” he said regretfully.

“No,” she said with an evil curl of her lips. “I don’t suppose she can. I guess you’ll have to come up with some _other_ way to express your affections.”

The masked man regarded the head senshi for a moment, knowing exactly what she was asking him to do. He nodded.

“Would you give us some space?”

She signaled her senshi to back off. “We won’t be far Tuxedo Kamen,” she said warningly.

He paid the girls no mind as they moved away. Instead, he leaned over the young heroine, the princess of his dreams. He caressed her cheek through his gloved hands before he gently pressed his lips to her own.

_Then the world exploded in sound and heat. The ground ripped itself apart._

He did not pull away when the vision struck. If this didn’t work, it wouldn’t matter anyway.

She stirred, but she still did not wake up. So he kissed her again.

_She began to fall into the chasm seemingly in slow motion. Mamoru attempted to dive forward, but something held him back._

“Mamo-chan?” she whispered, clutching at his lapels.

“Usako,” he whispered with relief holding her against him. “You scared me.”

“I must be dreaming,” she concluded, smiling happily. He couldn’t help but to return the expression.

“Does… this mean that we’re back together?” she asked carefully.

The question brought him back to reality and his smile faded.

“Usako, do you know what just happened?”

She nodded. “I was attacked again.”

“You almost died.”

“But I didn’t,” she argued fiercely.

“And I want to keep it that way. Do you _finally_ understand now?”

She looked at him for a long moment thoughtfully. 

“They only attack after I’ve seen you,” she realized.

He nodded. There had been one exception, but he would not point this out to her.

“So all of this…” she waved her hand between the two of them. 

He nodded once not really wanting her to finish the sentence. 

“You lied,” she said softly. “You said you didn’t love me.”

“I never _once_ said I didn’t love you Usako,” he whispered back fiercely. He had told her that he couldn’t see her and that he didn’t want to date. He had said he would not be ruled by his former life. He had not ever said to _anyone_ that he didn’t love her. 

“But you implied it,” she countered. “Made me believe that you didn’t. All to keep me safe from these… whatever they are?” she whispered incredulously.

“I’m sorry Usako. I don’t know what else to do. We haven’t been able to fight them.”

She stared up at him with her beautiful blue eyes and he looked away.

“So that’s a no,” she said sadly.

“A no to what?” he asked still not looking up.

“We’re not back together…”

That forced his attention up. Did she _still_ not understand?

“We _can’t_ … You’ll die,” he insisted.

She almost died that evening simply because she had believed he didn’t love her. He shoved that thought aside.

“I’m not giving up,” she said her eyes flashing angrily as she rose to her feet.

“Usako,” he pleaded. “Please, you have to stay away from me. It’s the only way.”

She shook her head, “It can’t be.”

Her senshi suddenly flanked her on all sides. Together they cut quite the imposing figure, but he only had eyes for her. She had never looked so certain about anything. Maybe… just maybe she could be right. If there was _one_ thing he still had faith in – it was her.

…

Sailor Pluto opened a small portal into the inter-dimensional fabric of space-time. She had done all she could to alert the princess and her senshi of the current events, so now she was free to follow the dream warning back to its source. The dream had been sent to Mamoru through time, from the future. She had to determine if the vision had been sent by friend or foe. She followed the energy residue like a guiding string through in a storm.

The path finally came to a stable resonance point that would lead back to the physical plane at one time or another, she had no way of telling exactly when from her current vantage point. Before she could enter the passageway, the event horizon fluctuated and a tall elegant woman stepped out.

Pluto was taken aback. She could count on one hand the number of times in over six thousand years that she found herself face to face with herself.

“You’re too early,” her older version said calmly.

“ _You_ sent the dream?” Setsuna asked shocked. She would never expect herself to be involved in anything as unreliable as dreams and prophecies.

“It was necessary.”

“Necessary to drive a wedge between Serenity and Endymion?” she accused. “Everything that I have learned says that their split would lead to the end of humanity altogether.”

Her older self nodded, “Exactly.”

Setsuna considered this new information. She understood that her older self would not tell her anything of the future. The consequences of foreknowledge were too great a risk. But she was implying that this dream was necessary to prevent catastrophe.

“They cannot make contact now,” the older woman told her. “If they do, they risk manifesting the vision. You have to wait.”

“They?” she repeated.

The other woman smiled. “Yes, _they_.”

“Wait for what?”

“Fears start small, but if they go unresolved they have a way of expanding until they become all consuming – until there’s no room for anything else. Not life. Not a future. Not love.”

Setsuna didn’t bother asking what that meant. It was a riddle. It always was. She trusted that the message was exactly what she needed to figure this out. She had been on both ends of similar conversations in the past.

“They are off to a good start. We believe that it is now only a matter of time,” the older woman confided.

“How will I know when the time is right?” Setsuna asked.

Her future self smiled again, “Trust me, you’ll know.”

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stuff about Einstein is true at least in terms of his professional life – I have no idea about his personal life. The history is based on a documentary that I had the pleasure of watching with some of my former students. Unfortunately I don’t remember the name… 
> 
> Just one more chapter and an epilogue! Stay tuned!


	5. Love

Motoki made his way down the hall to the familiar apartment of his best friend. Mamoru had left a panicked message at five in the morning on his voicemail both at home and at the arcade saying he needed to talk as soon as possible. Unfortunately for Mamoru, Motoki had been in transit at the time and missed both calls until he had been two hours into his shift. He hadn’t been able to leave until his shift had ended three hours later. But as soon as he was free he had made the mile and a half walk to his friend’s apartment. 

His hand hadn’t even struck the door once, when it flew open immediately. He jumped a little in surprise, wondering if Mamoru’s super abilities included the ability to see through walls or sense someone’s presence. 

At his friend’s frantic appearance, Motoki refrained from asking. Instead, he let himself be ushered inside. And before he had taken a seat, a brown bottle of beer was shoved into his hand. Motoki looked at the drink slightly dubiously. It was still an hour before noon, too early for Motoki by far to be drinking. 

“Thanks for coming over,” Mamoru greeted as he opened a second bottle for himself. 

“Of course Mamoru-kun. What’s so urgent?” Motoki asked taking a sip from the beverage in spite of his better judgment. 

“Usagi found out about the dream,” he explained without preamble.

Motoki cursed. “I knew this would backfire! How did she find out?”

“Setsuna.”

“What? You told _her_?”

“No! Yes! Sort of. She’s a damn Sailor Senshi and she knew who I was and apparently has some kind of psychic powers.”

Motoki took this bit of news stoically, but internally he was reeling. Mamoru, Usagi, and now Setsuna?

“Is there anyone in my life that isn’t a Sailor Senshi?” Motoki grumbled.

“She linked Usagi and I together,” Mamoru continued ignoring the complaint, “while I was dreaming and she saw the whole thing.”

Motoki whistled. Mamoru sure led a strange life.

“How did she react?”

“She showed up in the middle of the night last night, telling me that she didn’t care. That she was perfectly willing to take the risk for love,” he growled angrily. “And then! Before she made it home, she was attacked again…” his friend trailed off.

“But she’s okay, right?” Motoki demanded urgently. “You felt it or whatever and you went and saved her.”

“She’s okay now,” Mamoru reassured. “But when I got there she on the ground unconscious. I thought… I thought…” Mamoru’s eyes squeezed closed and he couldn’t finish the sentence. 

Motoki didn’t need him to finish. He had thought Usagi had died – that he had been too late.

“Mamoru-kun,” Motoki said gently. 

“I don’t know how I’m going to keep doing this Motoki-kun. It was harder to push her away. She knows that I still love her and she is so _stubborn_!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t,” Motoki insisted gently.

“Maybe I shouldn’t _love_ her?” Mamoru growled in disbelief.

“Push her away, baka!”

“But I can’t keep allowing these attacks to happen – not when I can do something to stop them – to protect her,” he insisted.

“Mamoru-kun, did the dream say _when_ she would die?”

“It was our wedding day,” he whispered, his eyes unfocused. “At least it seemed like it. She was wearing a wedding dress.”

“So don’t get married until after you have this figured out and don’t let her try on any wedding dresses!” Motoki suggested.

Mamoru laughed. It was a genuine heartfelt laugh. The first one Motoki had heard from his friend in months.

…

Mianko gently stroked the brush through her friend’s impossibly long golden tresses. The senshi were having a pamper-the-princess-because-she-almost-died party in Makoto’s studio apartment. Their host was in the kitchen throwing together some culinary masterpiece no doubt that involved lots of shifting of pans and sizzling. Whatever it was it smelled wonderful.

Meanwhile Ami, Rei, and Usagi all sat scattered on the floor with steaming mugs of hot chocolate in their hands. Minako had turned her charge around to face the vanity as she gave the girl the royal treatment.

“How do you get your hair to be so silky Usa?” Minako demanded. “Mine always feels dry and dead unless I put two bottles worth of product in it,” she complained. 

Usagi laughed, “Trade secret.” 

“Whatever, it’s gorgeous!” Minako exclaimed.

Rei came over and began setting twisting the freed strands back into the normal buns and ponytails. “You really are so gorgeous Usagi,” Rei agreed. “I have no idea how that baka could ever resist you.”

Usagi said nothing. Minako shot her dark haired friend an angry scowl. What was she doing bringing up the idiot prince? This was supposed to be about cheering her up! Not making her sad!”

“After last night, there’s no doubt in my mind Usa-chan. Mamoru will come around. He just got cold feet,” Minako reassured as she decorated each bun, or odango as Mamoru liked to call them, with pink rosebuds.

Her blond friend gave her a sad smile through the mirror.

“I don’t know Mina. I don’t think he will,” she said softly.

“What? What makes you say that?” Minako demanded.

“He cares about me too much,” she confided as if it explained everything.

“That doesn’t make any sense Usagi-chan. None at all!” Rei complained.

“He’s been having nightmares,” the princess explained. “Ones that say I’ll die if he stays with me.”

“You mean…” Minako began.

“…he did this whole thing to _save you_?” Rei finished.

Usagi’s crystal eyes filled with tears.

“That’s almost sweet,” Minako commented sadly.

“It would be if it weren’t completely moronic!” Rei interrupted angrily. “Any idiot can see that some things are _worse_ than death.”

“Do you know anything about these nightmares?” Ami asked, joining the conversation.

“It was our wedding day,” she began. “The ground started shaking and then tore open and I fell. Mamoru tried to save me, but he was held back by another version of him. He told him… told him that it was too late. That I had already gone. He told him that it was his fault, but that he could prevent it by staying away.”

“Mamoru told you all this?” Ami asked.

The blond girl shook her head. “No, I had the dream myself last night. That’s why I was out so late. I went to see him.”

“I can’t believe he would give you up based on some stupid dream,” Rei growled.

“I don’t think it was just the dreams Rei-chan,” Usagi said calmly. “The attacks only seem to happen after I’ve seen him.”

“ _What_?” Minako demanded. “Why didn’t you tell us this before? We’re supposed to protect you!” Minako chastised.

“I didn’t realize until yesterday,” Usagi said defensively. “There hadn’t been one in so long.

“How quickly did the attacks happen after you saw him?” Ami interrupted urgently.

Usagi cocked her head to the side in concentration. “Umm… usually just after I had seen him. Maybe ten minutes?” she guessed. 

“And it was always that quick?” 

“There was a two day gap once,” she admitted. “But all the others, yes.”

“And has there been an attack every single time you’ve seen him since this all started?” Ami continued. 

Usagi paused again. “No. But almost every time.”

“Define almost,” Ami insisted.

“Ami-chan! Calm down,” Minako chastised. “This is not an interrogation.”

Ami blushed.

“It’s okay Mina. I know Ami is only trying to help in her own special way,” Usagi said with a soft smile for her blue haired friend, which Ami gratefully returned. 

“So how many times did you see Mamoru-san without an attack following the visit?”

“Once,” she said immediately. “No, maybe twice. I don’t know for sure.”

“That is a pretty strong correlation,” Ami mused.

“Why are you all having a senshi meeting without me?” Makoto demanded as she brought in a platter of banana tempura drizzled in honey.

“What are you talking about Mako-chan?” Rei questioned even as she dove into the treat. “This is a studio apartment, you were in the same room the entire time.”

“Yeah, but I was frying so I couldn’t hear more than bits and pieces,” she complained.

“Well, it turns out Mamoru is not a complete jerk,” Minako explained rapidly.

“Just a moron!” Rei insisted. Minako waved away the complaint.

“He broke up with Usagi over a dream that told him she would die if he didn’t. And Ami thinks that he may be somehow related to the recent attacks on Usagi,” she finished before gasping for breadth.

“Do you want me to go beat him up?” Makoto offered seriously.

Usagi’s face lit up into a huge smile that spread across her whole face. Minako almost cried at her friend’s expression. She had feared that Usagi had lost her easy cheer permanently.

…

“Mamoru-san, we’d like a word,” a familiar voice said tightly. 

He turned from his coffee to find a fidgeting Ami and a scowling Makoto on either side of him.

He was both saddened and amused by Makoto’s threatening stance. He had always gotten along best with her of Usagi’s friends and senshi. At least Rei wasn’t there. She’d be grilling him with one side of her fiery tongue or the other. Makoto was polite enough to limit her expressions of displeasure to icy glares and body language. 

“Usagi told you,” it was not a question.

“Mamoru-san, we would never under normal circumstances pry into your and Usagi’s personal life,” Ami apologized. 

“Speak for yourself,” Makoto interjected.

“But I was hoping,” Ami continued smoothly as if she hadn’t just been interrupted, “you might be able give us some insight on this enemy. If we can combine what we know, Usagi will be that much safer.”

“So you’ve come to get as much information out of me as you can using all your impossibly effective interrogation techniques. You know that I’m afraid of needles right?” he said jokingly.

Ami laughed. “I have all I need right here,” she said tapping the small hand held computer she always had with her. 

Makoto’s eyes darkened, clearly less than pleased with the banter that passed between the two of them so easily.

He almost laughed. The girls always kept him on his toes and he missed it! Missed them! Not nearly as much as he had missed Usagi, of course. But he enjoyed being part of something – part of a team. When had the senshi become such a fixture in his life?

“Let’s go some place a little more private,” he suggested.

Ami nodded gracefully. Makoto didn’t acknowledge him at all, but followed just the same.

Once they had moved to an unused private party room, Ami did not waste a second before launching into her list of questions.

“Why do you think you’re the cause of the attacks?”

“They always happen right after she’s been with me.”

“Which came first? The dream or the attack?”

“The attack came first, but since the first attack I usually see the nightmare first.”

She continued drilling him for the rest of the hour making him wrack his brain to remember the details of events that had happened weeks ago. She recorded everything in her computer. Eventually she ran out of questions and they fell into silence.

“I think you’re right Mamoru-san,” she concluded.

Mamoru jumped at the pronouncement. “Right about what?”

“There’s something about you that is summoning these creatures.”

“So I _am_ causing this,” he concluded.

“I don’t know that actually,” she corrected. “There’s a correlation. One that’s too strong to ignore, but correlation does not equal causation.”

“I was right to keep her away,” he whispered.

“Not necessarily. The attacks are not correlated with your proximity.”

She flipped the computer around to show the monitor to him.

“Do you see this energy pattern?”

He glanced at the graph. It showed a high frequency pulse with sharp crests giving it a jagged look. He looked back up, waiting for her explanation.

She touched a button and the screen flashed to another similar graph, and then another and another.

“What is it?” he asked. 

“That’s the energy pattern that I detect every time one of these creatures attacks. It’s not a high energy field. It took three attacks before I noticed the occurrence at all, but once I knew to look for it, I found that it was there every time.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

She showed him another signal. “This is the energy pattern that your aura is emanating right now.”

He glanced at the graph – the screen pulsed erratically suggesting she was taking live data, but the periodic wave bore no resemblance at all to the energy pattern she had shown him before.

“I don’t understand the connection.” 

“That’s because I haven’t mentioned Usagi or your nightmares yet,” she said carefully. Her words sent the visions spinning through his head and he willed them away.

The screen flashed – the signal changed dramatically, mirroring the original pattern she had shown him. He stared at the screen unhappily.

“And this signal is coming from me?” he asked. “It’s causing the attacks?”

“No,” she said. “You were giving off this vibration multiple times during my interview. If it was _causing_ the attacks, we would have had to dash out of here to rescue her highness by now. But it’s definitely related. I think it has something to do with what you’re thinking or feeling and not actual proximity.”

“So why are you not sure that I am causing it?”

“Like I said, it’s a correlation,” she continued. “You could be causing the spirits. Or the spirits could be causing you to have the nightmares. Or something else is doing this to both of you and the signal is the evidence of its interference.”

“Can you create some kind of interference? Or cut me off from it?” Mamoru asked.

She shook her head. “To create interference I would need to know the trigger. And to cut you off, I would need to know the source. I don’t know how to trace the source of the signal. We’re talking about following a dream. How do you do that?”

“I might know someone who can do exactly that.” 

“Who?” Makoto barked finally joining the conversation.

“Nevermind,” he said. He was under the distinct impression Sailor Pluto preferred to remain anonymous. “I’ll go see her and see if she can help. I’ll get back to you, Mizuno-san when I’ve spoken with her,” he said, rising to his feet.

She nodded in agreement. “I would like to point out Mamoru-san, how much progress we’ve made in so very little time now that you’re communicating what’s going on with all of us.”

“Is that an ‘I told you so’, Sailor Mercury?” Mamoru asked, though he smiled at her jibe. She was right of course.

“I will discuss with Minako about inviting you to all senshi meetings from here on out,” she said.

He was taken completely aback by the offer. “Are you sure?” he asked. He knew the senshi meetings were just as much of girl bonding time as they were actual meetings. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

She nodded. “I think you need to become more of an integrated part of the team. Hopefully, if you are, nothing like this will ever happen again,” she said dignified as ever.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely.

She nodded again and began walking toward the door, Makoto trailing in her wake.

“How is she?” he called after her.

She turned back and smiled in compassion.

“I wouldn’t say she’s _good_ ,” Makoto snapped. “You…”

“But definitely better,” Ami interrupted. “She’s not giving up.”

“She never does,” he whispered with a slight smile.

“You should call her,” Ami suggested.

He nodded stiffly. That was not a conversation he was looking forward to.

…

Setsuna answered the polite knock at the door. She regarded her uninvited, though not entirely unexpected, guest with indifference.

“Hi Setsuna-chan. May I come in?” Mamoru said contritely.

“I’m assuming by how meek you are that you’ve finally seen sense,” she said coldly.

“I was wondering if you would be willing to help me?”

“With?” If Mamoru asked her to continue parading around as his supposed girlfriend she had no scruples about striking him into the next century.

“Well, if you can connect to me well enough to see the dream or send it to another, is it within your power to trace it to its source?”

She smiled. 

“Now, why didn’t I think of that?” she asked sarcastically. 

“You mean you already have?” he questioned urgently.

“Come on in,” she invited. “I have a lot to tell you.”

“So do you want the good news or the bad?” she asked as he followed her in.

“Might as well get the bad over with…”

“The bad news is that I can’t remove the vision. It is beyond my expertise.”

“And the good news?”

“It is not causing these attacks and it is not a true prophecy. It was sent to you to uncover certain unconscious… _issues_ in your psyche, in hopes of changing the future.”

“By whom?”

“Me,” she admitted.

She saw him stiffen in anger. But he held himself in tight control. Good, maybe he could learn to manage his fears as well.

“Then why can’t you remove it?”

“As I said, it’s beyond my expertise.”

“I don’t understand.”

She sighed.

“ _I_ didn’t put it there. My future self did and I don’t know how to give someone a vision like that, let alone remove it. Not yet anyway. It’s amazing work really,” she said clearly impressed.

“Setsuna,” he growled.

“Sorry,” she said, “but like I said. It’s not causing the attacks. It’s a warning of what the attacks could lead to.”

“What’s causing the attacks?”

“You are,” she said bluntly.

He looked like she had hit him with a train.

“I would never do anything to hurt Usagi,” he insisted.

“Well, not unless it was to keep her safe,” she commented dryly.

He scowled, “You know what I meant!”

She nodded. “I didn’t say that you were doing it intentionally. The Shittenou informed me that you haven’t been trained in this lifetime and that you are not aware of what you’re doing.”

He took the news stoically before he suddenly jerked his eyes back up to hers.

“The Shittenou? How? They...”

“Died?” she filled in evn as she shook her head. “You, of all people, should realize that death is not a permanent end. Their existence has changed, but the Shittenou continue to serve you. I suspect you could learn to communicate with them.”

“How?”

Before she could answer, he shook his head. “Later, you can teach me that later. Right now, I want to know if they told you what I was doing to trigger the attacks.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know,” she lied.

“So what do I do?”

“Spend time with Usagi,” she said without hesitation.

“But what if I…”

“Look, I can’t tell you there’s no risk with seeing her. There is a risk. _However_ , I can also tell you that the only way to resolve this is through her. I can’t remove the vision or take away the threat. But _together_ , you can!”

Mamoru remained silent as he considered her words.

“You were willing to risk everything for love once,” she reminded him.

…

Mamoru paced back and forth in front of the phone still strangely reluctant to call. He wanted so much to hear her voice. But he didn’t know how he could face her. He knew through every fiber of his being that she would forgive him. But he wasn’t certain he deserved that forgiveness. 

And, despite Ami and Setsuna’s findings, he still feared that contact with her would put her in danger. He didn’t know what he was doing or how, but he knew that all of the attacks were somehow his fault. Ami had said it had something to do with his thoughts or feelings. But it also had something to do with his thoughts and feelings for Usagi. Surely, by being with her whatever thoughts he was supposed to avoid would surface more readily.

He was willing to sacrifice his own happiness to save her – that hadn’t changed. He didn’t think it would ever change. But staying away and making them both miserable had shown itself to be less than foolproof. According to Setsuna, he had to spend time with Usagi to figure it out. She was the key for eliminating the threat completely. He had to take the risk now to keep her safe permanently. 

He rapidly dialed the number before he could change his mind.

“Tsukino residence!” the bright voice greeted him. His mouth felt dry and his tongue felt thick.

“Hello…?” the voice asked.

Mamoru forced himself to speak.

“Usako, can we meet?” he croaked.

The question was met with silence. He clutched the handset as if it was a lifeline, not daring to breathe as the silence extended from seconds to what felt like an eternity.

“Where?” she finally asked. His stomach unclenched slightly.

“The park?”

“When?”

“When can you be there?”

“Fifteen minutes,” she said immediately. His whole body loosened in relief.

“I will be there,” he managed over the lump in his throat.

…

She sat serenely on a park bench, her hands folded in her lap. He admired her composure as he took a seat beside her. Neither of them said a word. She didn’t acknowledge his presence at all.

He needed to say something. He had rehearsed his apologies for days, but now that she was here – two inches away, words deserted him.

“Thank you for meeting me,” he said lamely.

She nodded, “Of course.”

They fell into awkward silence again. What was _wrong_ with him? Had it been so long that he didn’t know how to talk to her anymore unless her life was in mortal peril.

“Usako,” he began. “I’m sorry.”

She turned turn towards him expectantly. He took a deep breath.

“For a lot of things,” he continued. “For ever making you doubt yourself, for ever giving you cause to doubt my love, for the entire Setsuna fiasco, for trusting a dream more than you, for ever teasing your hairstyle, for criticizing your interests or grades in front of an entire arcade of people, for…”

“Stop,” she interrupted.

“I should have told you about the dream,” he finished.

“You should have,” she agreed. “I thought you trusted me.”

“Of course I trust you! I… I was terrified. I… I thought you would choose to die.”

“I would choose to love.”

“I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you,” he confessed. “I’m not worth that sacrifice.”

She slapped him hard.

He pressed a hand to his stinging cheek and met her angry watery eyes.

“Don’t you _dare_ belittle the man I love!” she screeched. “Or tell me what I’m allowed to sacrifice!”

“Usako…” he pleaded. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what? _Love_ you?” she demanded harshly. “I’m sorry Mamo-chan, but I don’t know how to not do that.”

“I just meant, please don’t be so eager to sacrifice yourself,” he said brokenly, letting his head fall into his hands. How could he explain his fear? How much it haunted and paralyzed him?

“Usako, I have the nightmare every night,” he confided still not looking at her. “And it resurfaces every single time you touch me.”

She gasped.

“I can’t think of anything else. It’s all I see sometimes,” he continued, afraid that if he stopped, he’d never be able to finish. “You don’t know what my life was like before you. I didn’t remember my parents. I didn’t have anyone. Only a dream of a princess that every person I confided in – whether they were friend, mentor, or stranger – told me wasn’t real.”

“Mamo-chan,” she said her voice full of concern.

“Until you,” he said finally lifting his eyes to hers. “That day on the bus, you were the _first_ person ever to tell me not to give up. That she was out there somewhere. I just had to have faith.”

“So yes, I’m afraid of you dying. I’m afraid that you’ll sacrifice yourself for me. It would be a pointless sacrifice because without you in it, my life would be empty.”

“I’m right here,” she said, reaching out to comfort him.

“No don’t,” he warned, pulling away just slightly.

“Right. I forgot about the nightmare. Sorry,” she said contritely, folding her hands in her lap. “I can’t help it. I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

“Yeah, I get it. Trust me.”

She laughed. She actually laughed. He saw nothing funny in the situation, but the sound was musical.

“Mamo-chan,” she said, turning serious once again. “I need you to understand something too.” She paused searching for her own words. 

“I never wanted to be Sailor Moon,” she finally said. “When Luna told me my destiny was to protect the whole world, I threw a tantrum. After that first battle, I had nightmares of my own of me dying. I cried and begged whenever she insisted I had to fight. I used to think it wasn’t fair that I had this responsibility.”

Mamoru agreed with that sentiment whole-heartedly. And it hadn’t helped that this destiny fell squarely on the shoulders of a fourteen year old girl. At fourteen, she should have been allowed to gossip with her friends, blush over boys, and dream of her future without a care in the world. Instead she had had to pick arms to slay youmas.

“But someone had to do it and apparently I had been chosen. But it felt so big – bigger than I could ever even hope to be able to hold. The _only_ way I face it without being crushed, is knowing that I have _you_ to lean on. That you will always be there. Not just to save me with your well timed roses, because you don’t just protect my life Mamo-chan. You protect my heart. You share the impossible burden of protecting an entire planet with me.

“That battle with the dragon and the wolf, I saw no point in fighting anymore. I couldn’t do it by myself. I needed you then and you _weren’t there_ ,” she accused. 

“Usako… I’m so sorry,” his voice cracked. He cradled the side of her face in his hand. 

_Mamoru turned to face the gaping crevasse in the middle of the rose garden. The edge was only centimeters away. He forced himself to peer over the edge. His intestines writhed painfully and his throat pushed down into his chest. Her crumpled form lay broken on red glowing rocks below unmoving. Her dress glowed red and orange as the edges burned like paper before a candle._

He yanked his hand back as if burned, his head spun as the visions only intensified.

“Mamo-chan!” her scream sounded distant.

_He jumped down into the chasm, ignoring the heat and cradled her lifeless body in his arms. Dead clouded eyes looked through him, no longer seeing. He desperately pulled her cold blue lips to his own. She remained icy and unresponsive. Salty tears splashed onto her once flushed cheeks. His throat clogged with despair and anger. This could not be real. He could not accept it._

“Usako!” he screamed. He could not lose her. He wouldn’t survive it.

“Mamo-chan?” her voice trembled in fear. He shook his head trying to clear his head. When he brought the world into focus he immediately regretted it. 

Countless fearsome creatures from legends and nightmares occupied the park in front of them like an invading army. Chimeras, griffons, sphinxes, and so many others he could not attach a name to. He pushed the petite blond behind him. 

“You can’t have her!” he shouted defiantly at the beasts even has he transformed. The mythical creatures surged forward. He swept her up and leapt past glowing insubstantial entities to land in a nearby tree. Terrifying shrieks pursued them from the ground and the sky. He launched himself and his beloved off the tree branch. They crashed onto a nearby rooftop with a painful jolt. He pushed Usagi to her feet. 

“Run!” he ordered, even as he followed suit.

They reached the edge of the roof only to be cut off by the flying spirits. Usagi stumbled backwards into his arms. They turned back the way they came, only to come up short, cut off again.

Surrounded on all sides, there was nowhere left to go. He held Usagi protectively to his chest desperately. _Was this it?_ Mamoru wondered. Had all of his sacrifice of the last three months been for naught? He wanted to kill Motoki, Ami, and Setsuna for _ever_ suggesting that meeting with Usagi, knowing what they did, was a good idea. He cursed himself for going against his better judgment. 

The worst part of it was that he knew _he_ wouldn’t die. The non-corporeal creatures would pass straight through him. Harm only coming to his beloved. She would leave him here alone. He didn’t want to survive without her.

“Mamo-chan,” she whispered looking up at him calmly, “kiss me.”

He squeezed his eyes closed against what he recognized as her last request, as her acceptance of death.

“Don’t give up me Usako…” he whispered.

“Trust me!” she screamed at him.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He crushed his lips against hers desperately. 

_The music stopped and for a split second everything was perfect. They were the only two people that existed._

He deepened the kiss, allowing their tongues to dance, sharing the same air. He breathed in her essence. 

_A second later, the silence seemed deafening. He turned, glancing around. Everything froze in perfect stillness._

He tried to convey all his regrets and his love in the simple contact. If this was going to be the last time tasted her sweet lips he had to make it memorable enough to last a lifetime. 

_Then the world exploded in sound and heat. The ground itself ripped itself apart, directly under Usagi’s feet. She began to fall into the chasm seemingly in slow motion._

Mamoru dismissed the vision of his beloved’s demise, losing himself in the kiss that he never wanted to end.

Usagi pulled away gasping for breadth. He felt like the sun had just disappeared.

She squealed in delight. “It worked!”

He opened his eyes slowly, looking at the clear open blue sky in amazement. All evidence of the supernatural creatures that hunted his princess had vanished.

He turned to Usagi in amazement. “How did you know that would work?”

“Don’t you see Mamo-chan?” she asked with a giddy grin.

“I…” he stared at her. “No… I really don’t.” he gave her a sheepish grin. “Explain.”

“They always came when you feared for me. They always left…”

“…when I thought about how much I loved you,” he finished with incredulity.

“That’s my theory!” she said brightly.

He laughed in relief and crumpled onto the concrete rooftop below him.

She plopped down next to him and took his hand. 

_Her crumpled form lay broken on red glowing rocks below unmoving._

He snatched his hand away without thinking. She frowned at his reaction. 

“Nightmares?” she asked. 

He nodded confirmation.

“If we’ve defeated the enemy, why is the nightmare still happening?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he said and at that particular moment he didn’t care. He knew how to protect her now and it was the easiest thing in the world. He just had to focus on how much he loved her. “But we’ll figure it out.”

…


	6. Trust

Mamoru cursed for what had to be the fifth time that _hour_ when he discovered someone had double-parked, locking his car into its space. The fates were just not with him today. He had spilled coffee over his government paper five minutes before the deadline and his professor had refused to accept it on time. Two hours later his chemistry lab had _literally_ exploded in his face sending acid and broken glass everywhere. It had taken an hour to clean up to his TA’s satisfaction. And now, he couldn’t leave.

He glanced at his watch and cursed again. He was already five minutes late to his date with Usagi. Not only was she the only thing he had to look forward to for the rest of the day, this would also be the first time seeing her in five excruciating long days.

He took a few deep breaths attempting to calm himself. This wasn’t a big deal. He could handle this situation no problem. He threw his messenger bag into his car then glanced up and down the parking garage’s aisles for witnesses. Luckily, the lot was filled only with the inanimate cars.

Satisfied he was alone, he quickly transformed wishing, not for the first time, that his disguise was a little less conspicuous. Then he used his supernatural strength to push the offending car out of his way.

Satisfied that he had enough space to get out, he detransformed, jumped into his own car, and sped away.

He arrived at the café only twenty-eight minutes late in total and slipped into the booth opposite his favorite blond with relief. 

“Where were you?” she demanded icily.

His eyes jumped to hers in startlement at the true anger that pulsed from her form.

“I’m sorry Usako,” he said sincerely. “I got here as soon as I could.”

She nodded, but remained stiff.

“Usako…” he said again gently. “What’s wrong?”

She closed her eyes and he panicked when she began to cry.

“Usako…?”

“I’m sorry,” she said contritely. “It’s just when you didn’t show… I just… I thought... I mean, we’ve barely spoken all week,” she babbled through her tears.

“Usako,” he said soothingly, wishing in that moment that he could touch her. Another three weeks had passed and they were still no closer to solving his ‘nightmare problem’ as the senshi had taken to calling it. “I didn’t mean to be distant. Things just… exploded all at once. Thinking of being here with you was the motivator that got me through the week. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

“I only need to know one thing,” she said carefully.

He nodded. “Name it.”

“Do you still want me?” she asked, biting her lower lip.

“Spirits Usako, of course I do!” he snapped, his own anger bubbling to the surface. “What kind of question is _?”_

“Mamo-chan, I thought I was okay,” she sobbed. “But really I’m not.”

“What are you saying?”

“You really hurt me. And that doesn’t just go away.”

“Usako…” he pleaded, “You know why… It wasn’t real.”

“It _was_ real! For _me_ , it was _completely_ real,” she countered harshly.

The pain in her eyes killed him. After his ruse he couldn’t really be angry with her. He had put her through hell. But her doubt, even though he understood where it was coming from, struck him to the core sharper than any blade.

“You don’t trust me anymore,” he said sadly.

“I do!” she insisted. He shook his head.

“You want to,” he countered, “but you don’t.”

She did not contradict him. His chest tightened. He closed his eyes against the his own pain.

“I understand what you did and why. It was almost sweet,” she finally said staring at her hands.

“But it doesn’t change what happened or what you felt,” he finished for her. He looked at her intently willing her to look back up. She didn’t. He swallowed hard before offering, “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“No!” she objected, jumping forward to clutch his hand. When the vision struck, he forced himself not to react. It was his own penance for all the pain he had caused her.

“So what do you want to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I just wanted you to know where I was, that I may freak out again. That I need you to be patient with me.”

“You want to go slow,” he said stoically.

She nodded. 

“Whatever you want Usako,” he reassured. “I will wait all of eternity.”

He vowed to himself never to be late to a date again.

…

Motoki was taking orders, when he caught Usagi taking her normal seat at the bar. He quickly confirmed the orders, turned them into the kitchen before he approached the petite blond.

“What can I do for my favorite customer today?” Motoki asked, not commenting on Mamoru’s conspicuous absence.

“I’ll take my usual, Motoki-oniisan,” she said with a small smile. It did not reach her eyes. 

“Are you okay Usagi-chan?” Motoki asked even as he began preparing the double chocolate milkshake with extra cherries.

Usagi glanced at him, startled. “Am I that obvious?”

“Only to those that know you best,” he reassured. “So are you?” he asked again when she didn’t respond.

She sighed. “I don’t know.”

He waited for her to elaborate, but she did not.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he prompted.

“I dreamed and begged and prayed for Mamo-chan to take me back. But now that it’s happened…”

“Things aren’t the same,” he filled in when she trailed off.

Her head jerked up in surprise at his immediate understanding. And she nodded.

“I know that he loves me, but…”

“But he hurt you,” Motoki filled in again.

She nodded and she closed her eyes against tears.

He took her hand. “You’ll get through this Usagi-chan,” he told her confidently. “You both will and you’ll be stronger than anything, afterward.”

“Are you speaking from experience?” she asked.

He blushed. “Guilty as charged,” he confirmed. “But we got through it. And if we mere mortals can do it, I’m sure the destined lovers Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen won’t have any trouble,” his whispered conspiratorially.

He had to give her credit. She tensed only for a moment and he wouldn’t have noticed had he not been watching for it.

“What are you talking about Motoki-oniisan?” she asked, suddenly all innocence. 

“Nice try Usagi-chan, but you can give it up the act.”

She glared at him unhappily.

He laughed.

“You weren’t supposed to know,” she whispered. “We never wanted you to suffer that burden.”

“It’s not a burden, Usagi-chan. It’s an honor,” he told her honestly.

She blushed.

“So have the attacks stopped?” he asked to disguise her discomfiture.

“Mostly,” she reported. “But even when they appear they’re not an issue anymore. We have learned how to combat them.”

“That’s great news!”

She nodded in agreement, but did not seem happy.

“Is something else wrong?” he asked.

“The nightmares haven’t gone away,” she said sadly.

“Ah,” Motoki said knowingly. This was probably the real problem – the real reason his friends could not connect the way they had in the past. 

“Everytime I forget and touch him, he tenses up. He tries to hide it – he thinks I don’t notice. It’s not fair that my touch is painful to him. I can’t be what he needs me to be.”

“Usagi-chan, Mamoru-kun loves you. He’s with you because he loves you and not for anything that you can or cannot do for him. And sometimes, love means he has to be patient. He knows that.”

“I don’t understand it! We figured it out! Why do they keep plaguing us?” she demanded of no one.

“I don’t know Usagi-chan,” he said with sympathy.

“I keep envisioning him Setsuna everywhere I go,” she admitted. “She could hold his hand or cuddle up against him. And I wonder why he stays with me,” she confided with tears in her eyes.

“There was never anything between them. Mamoru used her as a shield only. She could never comfort him the way your mere smile can.”

“How can you be sure?” she asked pleadingly.

“You should go see her Usagi-chan,” Motoki suggested.

“ _What_?” the blond objected. “That seems totally awkward and inappropriate. I mean, wouldn’t it be awkward for you to go visit one of Reika-chan’s ex-boyfriends?”

“Usagi-chan, I have it on good authority that Setsuna was never interested in Mamoru anymore than he was in her. And, that your situation is more than abnormal. She would not take any offense if you were to visit her.”

She nodded. “Maybe I will. Where do I find her?”

Motoki scribbled down some directions on a napkin.

She contemplated the napkin, her eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. Motoki smiled at the look, so rare on the young girl’s face.

“Thank you, by the way,” Motoki whispered, interrupting her musings.

She brought her eyes up to his questioningly. “For what?”

“For all that you do. You’re amazing Usagi-chan,” he wanted to thank her for the all the times she had saved his life. For the time she had saved Reika’s, but he suspected she didn’t want him to treat her any differently.

“Motoki-oniisan,” she cooed. “You’re the best big brother anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for listening to me today.”

And she seized him in a hug across the counter.

“I try!” he said laughing.

…

Mamoru strolled through the automatic arcade doors whistling pleasantly. The happy tune died on his tongue as he watched Usagi throw herself across the counter to embrace his best friend. His body tightened in irrational jealousy. 

“I try!” his friend said laughing.

Mamoru knew there was nothing except friendship between them. He was actually thrilled they got along so well. He always had been. He just hated that their interaction served as a painful reminder of how much he couldn’t be there for her.

His friend saw him then and immediately pulled back smiling apologetically. Mamoru did not like the expression even as he appreciated it.

“Am I interrupting something?” Mamoru asked, keeping his voice carefully light.

“Mamoru-kun! I didn’t expect to see you today,” Motoki greeted.

“Neither did I,” Usagi said, turning toward him with a bright smile of her own. He drank in her presence. She leaned toward him and time seemed to stop. He lifted his eyes towards hers. For that moment everything was perfect again. 

Then her dazzled eyes cleared as she remembered herself and pulled away, the moment shattered. He sighed and they both took their regular seats. He was both grateful and depressed by her restraint. He knew that she was trying to be considerate, that she had _wanted_ to kiss him. She was trying to spare him the pain of the vision. But it was hard not to feel it as a physical rejection – hard, not to think of his own shortcomings in not being able to be close to her. 

Motoki gave him a pained expression and passed him his usual hazel blend without comment. Mamoru gulped the drink gratefully, watching Usagi from the corner of his eye as she bit her lower lip unhappily. 

“Usako, might we go for a walk?” he asked, suddenly feeling the need to be alone with her.

She slumped with what he hoped was genuine regret.

“I’m sorry Mamo-chan. I can’t. I have other plans this afternoon.”

His mind flashed to a certain dark haired youth, but he forced himself not to ask. He trusted her completely. He had to. It was the only way to get through this.

“Oh,” his voice sounded small even to himself.

“Maybe tomorrow?” she suggested.

“I’m helping Motoki move large boxes tomorrow,” he said regretfully, sending his friend a pleading look.

“Actually, Usagi-chan,” Motoki jumped to his rescue. “If you’re free, Reika could really use a second opinion in some of the decorations. She’s trying to ‘comfortize’ my bachelor pad. Her words, I swear. So you’re absolutely welcome to join us,” he invited.

“You don’t have to take pity on me Motoki-oniisan. I know you haven’t seen Reika in weeks. I don’t want to intrude.”

“Usagi-chan, I’m taking pity on Mamoru-kun,” Motoki corrected. “He’ll be the intrusive one if you’re not there to drive him to distraction. Plus, I’m asking you to help me _move_! What romantic sessions are you going to fracture?”

“Well, okay then,” she said with a grin. “I will see you tomorrow then, Mamo-chan,” she said with genuine delight. His mood lifted a little. “I really should be going now,” she said gently.

He watched her go regretfully. 

“I love you Usako,” he called after her retreating form. She waved back in acknowledgement. He kept staring at the door for a long moment after she disappeared. 

“Are you okay?” Motoki asked breaking his silence. 

Mamoru shrugged, turning back to his friend.

“I’m sorry,” his friend said.

“It’s not your fault,” Mamoru assured.

“No, I meant that I’m sorry for earlier.”

Mamoru looked up in surprise. “What are you talking about Motoki-kun?”

“I saw your face when you walked in.”

“It’s fine Motoki-kun,” Mamoru insisted dismissing his own jealousy with a wave, “I just…”

“You didn’t need the reminder that you’re the only one that can’t touch her,” Motoki filled in.

Mamoru closed his eyes against the words. Truth cut deep. 

“It’s good though. At least you can be there for her,” Mamoru forced himself to say.

“I’m sure she feels my brotherly shoulder, is a poor substitute for yours.”

Mamoru nodded.

“When does Reika-chan arrive?” Mamoru asked, changing the subject. What he really wanted to ask was where Usagi had gone. He assumed Motoki knew, but he respected his friend’s desire to not serve as a spy.

“Tonight!” Motoki exclaimed, allowing the subject change. “I’m going to pick her up at the airport at eight.”

Mamoru smiled at his friend’s excited anticipation.

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time,” Mamoru said, gulping down the last of his coffee. He couldn’t talk about this right now. “I have to go. I’ll see you in the morning at Reika’s storage unit.”

And he walked away from the counter.

“Mamoru-kun?” Motoki called after him. Mamoru turned back.

“She’s visiting a friend,” Motoki told him. Mamoru felt grateful for the bone, but his insides still writhed uncomfortably.

“You going to tell me who this friend is?” Mamoru asked.

“Just that it’s not Kou Seiya.”

Mamoru grinned. “Thanks Motoki-kun! That was all I needed to hear.”

“I know. See you tomorrow!”

“Can’t wait!” Mamoru called back with a wave.

…

Setsuna heard the knocking and smiled, knowing that Motoki had _finally_ come through for her. She had been waiting so long she thought he had forgotten. She had actually contemplated implanting a compulsive suggestion in his subconscious.

She opened the door immediately and smiled at the petite blond before her. Her princess writhed her hands in nervousness.

“Tsukino-san, I’ve been expecting you,” she invited warmly. “Please, come in. What can I do for you?”

“You have?” the other girl repeated in surprise.

“Yes,” Setsuna confirmed, but did not elaborate. That explanation could come later. 

“I… umm…” Usagi began, and then she laughed. “I’m sorry Meioh-san. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ll just…”

“You know exactly what you’re doing here,” Setsuna interrupted blocking Usagi’s path back toward the door. “So go on,” she encouraged. It would have been so much easier to just give the girl answers, but she had to work this all out herself in order to break the hold of this nightmare on the Terran prince.

“I guess… Motoki-oniisan said that I should come see you,” she explained in a rush. “He said that Mamoru was never interested in you, but… seeing how kind, understanding, and intelligent that you are, it’s hard to see why he would choose me,” she finished with a dejected sigh.

Setsuna’s smile never faded. “Honestly, Motoki-kun would know better than I. Wait here, I have something to show you.”

“What do you mean?” Usagi called after her.

“I mean, that Mamoru-kun hardly spoke two words to me. It was Motoki-kun he confided in during all the time we were supposedly ‘dating’,” Setsuna called back, retrieving a particular napkin form her desk.

She moved back to the living room and handed the ‘sketch’ to her princess.

Usagi drank in the sight of the scene. 

“Did he give this to you?” she demanded.

Setsuna shook her head rapidly. “No, in fact he seemed intent on hiding it from me. It revealed too much about how much he was thinking of you.” 

“How do you know this has anything to do with me?” she asked, her blue eyes never leaving the drawing.

“I have seen the original,” Setsuna explained. “You are featured quite prominently in it.”

“You’ve been into his bedroom?”

Setsuna laughed. Of course Usagi would seize upon that one little detail.

“Tsukion-san, listen to me,” Setsuna said instead. “Mamoru-kun and I were never really dating. He invited me out to places to make it _look_ like we were. He took my hand exactly _once_ when your friend, Hino-san I believe her name is, was storming over to our table demanding an explanation. It was then, that I realized that he was putting on a show – for your benefit. That was the extent of our physical relationship. Emotionally, we’re just good friends. It will always be that way. Assuming, of course, that you’re okay with it.”

“But you continued seeing him,” the accusation was clear.

“I did,” Setsuna confirmed.

“Why?”

“Because he was in a dark place and I was scared for him. He had cut himself off from almost everyone that was important to him. He needed my help,” she explained seriously. 

Usagi nodded carefully, “But…” 

“Besides,” Setsuna interrupted with a smile, “I couldn’t let a girl who was truly interested in him get in there and truly muck things up, now could I?” she said with conspiratorial wink.

The blond girl couldn’t suppress the smile that formed. “So you really don’t feel anything for him?” she asked again.

“Nothing more than friendship,” Setsuna reassured.

“Thank you Meioh-san, for being willing to talk to me. I didn’t mean to make things awkward for you.”

Setsuna smiled gently wishing more than ever that she could reveal herself to the compassionate princess before her. But it wasn’t time yet. Soon though. “Your formality is the only thing that feels awkward. Please, call me Setsuna.”

“Thank you Setsuna-chan.”

…

Reika opened up another box, hoping that this was the _one_ she was looking for. Her feet were _cold_ from walking across this hardwood floor. She had already been through three other brown boxes, but they had all turned out to contain only clothes, which Usagi was already dutifully hanging up in the closet only a few feet away.

Reika pushed the box away in annoyance when it proved to be nothing more than sheets. She would really have to a better job of labeling the boxes in more detail next time she moved.

She approached an entirely different pile of boxes and tore one open at random and gleefully seized upon the floor rugs. She had been looking for her slippers, but this would work almost as well.

“Usagi-chan, what do you think?” Reika asked the other girl, holding up the two throw rugs. “Blue or green?”

“Huh?” Usagi asked startled. “Oh sorry Reika-chan. I was zoning out. Umm… green. Definitely green.”

“Green? You sure?”

“Yeah! Green is Motoki’s favorite color,” Usagi told her.

Reika looked up at the girl in surprise.

“It is?”

“I thought it was. Isn’t it?” Usagi asked uncertainly.

“You know,” Reika said with a laugh, “I have no idea. You’re probably right. Green it is,” she said throwing the rug down on the hardwood floor.

“It looks great,” Usagi said without enthusiasm. Reika frowned. She hadn’t seen the girl in awhile, but she seemed unusually depressed.

“Usagi-chan, you seem down. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” the girl responded quickly. Too quickly.

“Something with Mamoru?” Reika asked gently unwilling to let it go that easily.

The girl blushed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Reika invited at the obvious confirmation.

“There’s nothing wrong, Reika-chan. I love him and he loves me… I know he does. I understand all that he did, he did to protect me,” the girl explained. Reika raised an eyebrow at the news. Usagi was leaving out a lot of details. The girl probably assumed that Reika knew the whole story from Motoki already.

“Ah, he hurt you to protect you. So now you are having a hard time trusting him,” Reika said sympathetically, understanding the situation only too well. 

“That’s just it,” Usagi ground out in frustration. “I _do_ trust him. I trust him with my _life_. I trust him to support and to always take care of me.”

“But not with your heart,” Reika concluded sadlly. No wonder Mamoru had seemed so distant this morning.

“I want to,” Usagi insisted. “My head knows that he wouldn’t ever break it, but my heart hasn’t caught up.”

“It will,” Reika assured the younger girl. 

“How can you be so sure?” Usagi asked wistfully.

“Usagi-chan, can I tell you a story?” Reika asked, taking a seat on Motoki’s bed. She gestured for Usagi to join her.

The girl nodded, abandoning the box of clothes slowly taking her own seat.

“During my junior year of college, I applied for a six month internship on a dig in Egypt. They rarely took undergrads so I didn’t expect to actually get it, but it was a site that I was writing my undergraduate thesis on so I had to shoot for it.”

“You got it didn’t you?” Usagi asked excitedly. “They’d have been fools not to take you Reika-chan!”

Reika couldn’t help but smile. Usagi’s sudden enthusiasm was contagious. “Yes, I got it. Motoki and I had been dating for about a year at the time. I didn’t know what to do. He was fantastic – I knew that I loved him, but I didn’t know if he would want to do the long distance relationship. I also knew that if I was successful, it wouldn’t be the last time.”

“How did he react?” Usagi asked.

“I never told him,” Reika confessed. “I didn’t want to put him through the stress of a relationship. I thought it would be better if he could have someone who could be with him all the time and not just half of the year. I thought it would be easier on him to just break it off. I think I also feared my heart would shatter if he actually said no.”

“So you just disappeared?” Usagi whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

Reika nodded. “I didn’t even tell him I was leaving. I just wrote him a long letter telling him that I loved him and that I wanted him to be happy.”

“I take it this didn’t go over well?”

“He was _furious_! And to make matters worse, I was working on a dig out in the middle of the Egyptian desert and he had no way to contact me, so he couldn’t even _tell_ me he was furious.”

“So what happened?” Usagi prompted when Reika trailed off.

“He showed up at my dig site four months into the excavation!” she exclaimed.

“In _Egypt_?” Usagi exclaimed in disbelief. 

“I _know_! It was crazy!” Reika agreed. “He threw the letter in my face and asked me if I really meant it when I said I loved him, or if I was just trying to be gentle in breaking up with him. He’s younger than me you see, and thought maybe someone more mature had caught my eye.”

“Which is just _ridiculous_ ,” Usagi commented. Reika smiled.

“He told me that if I loved him I should have discussed it with him. At least given him a choice before I just vanished. He insisted that seeing me for only half the year every year was better than none of the year. He was also angry that I thought he wouldn’t do anything and everything to support my career.”

“I assume you got back together,” Usagi said, gesturing to the haphazard stacks of brown cardboard boxes.

“Well yes,” Reika confirmed. “But it was hard at first. Being apart for so long makes things slightly awkward when you finally get to see one another again. And he was still angry that I hadn’t trusted him. And his distance hurt me as well.”

“So what fixed it?” Usagi asked, rocking herself back and forth to hide the urgency of which she needed an answer.

Reika shrugged. “It wasn’t any one thing. Just time really. As I came to him with similar situations and planned _with_ him how we would get through it, he came to believe and understand that I really did trust him. Which allowed him to be closer to me. Creating a delightful cycle of growing trust and love. It just took time.”

“How much time?” Usagi asked petulantly. 

Reika laughed. “Usagi-chan, I don’t know how long it will take. But I do know that you both will get through this.”

“How can you be so sure?” Usagi asked.

“Because every time Mamoru enters a room you still turn toward him. You _want_ to run into his arms. You hold yourself back for whatever reason, but your first instinct is to comfort him, to greet him with a kiss. It’s completely unnatural for you not to do so.”

“I hate not being able to touch him,” Usagi confirmed.

“This tells me that your heart wasn’t broken,” Reika said with a smile. “Only bruised. And Mamoru-kun, with a little help from father time, is the one that will heal it.”

…

Motoki and Mamoru had just finished bringing in the last of the boxes from the truck when the girls finally came down the stairs.

They each unsealed boxes and began sorting them into, urgent and less urgent categories. Mamoru found mostly kitchen related items, which he delivered to the dining room table. He didn’t want to make the kitchen unusable by placing boxes all over the counter tops.

Usagi seemed to be shooting shy looks his way. Though he couldn’t be certain because everytime he looked at her, she looked away. But Reika smirked knowingly, while Motoki suppressed laughter. He definitely was not imagining it. He felt very much like he was under a microscope. But Usagi was smiling. He took that as a good sign and forced himself to relax.

“Usagi-chan,” Motoki called when Mamoru discovered a wok. “Mamoru-kun was just about to make us all some lunch.”

Mamoru started. This was the first he was hearing of it.

“I really think he could use your help,” Motoki continued. “He can be a bit clueless in the kitchen at times.”

Usagi glanced at Reika and gave his blond friend a knowing look.

“Alright Motoki-oniisan,” she agreed happily. “I would be delighted to supervise Mamo-chan in the kitchen. We wouldn’t want lunch to be burned afterall,” she said dryly following him into the kitchen.

“I take it that by _supervise_ , you mean watch me do all the work?” he teased playfully even as he opened the refrigerator.

“Quiet you,” she growled, throwing a hand towel at him. He caught it easily, chuckling. “Motoki-oniisan knows I’m hopeless in the kitchen. Can’t you see it was a ploy? He wanted some alone time with Reika-chan! They haven’t seen each other in months!”

Mamoru suspected that wasn’t the only reason, just an added bonus. Motoki was far too gracious a host to isolate his guests for purely selfish reasons. But he certainly had no objections to Motoki’s ulterior motives. Not in this instance.

“So what do you want for lunch, Usako?” Mamoru asked. 

“What are our options?” she asked enthusiastically, peering over his shoulder into the fridge.

“There’s actually a lot to choose from. I think Motoki-kun stocked up to prepare for Reika-chan’s arrival.”

She glanced through the drawers and shelves of the refrigerator before throwing her arms up in frustration.

“Oh, I don’t care,” she said. “Make whatever. I’m sure it’ll be delicious. I’ll sit here,” she said hopping onto a stool, “and _supervise_.”

Mamoru smiled before diving into Motoki’s ingredients figuring if his friend had been saving something he should have said something. He filled two pots with water and placed them on stove to boil. He added seasonings to make a soup base for one of them and then began slicing up some scallions, mushrooms, cabbage and shrimp while he waited for the boiling to start.

“What did you decide to make?” Usagi asked curiously.

“I’m just making a soba noodle soup. Figured it would be fast.

Just that moment, delighted laughter floated past them from the other room. Usagi and he shared a knowing smile.

“I don’t know Mamo-chan. I don’t think Motoki-oniisan is counting on fast,” she said delightfully.

Mamoru grinned, coating the preheated wok with a small amount of oil.

“Do you want to help Usako?” he asked. 

“I don’t know,” she said nervously. “It already smells really good. I really don’t want to ruin it.”

“You can’t ruin it while I’m standing right here. Come here,” he ordered.

He dumped in the mushrooms and they hit the oil with a satisfying sizzle. 

“Here,” he said, handing her the wooden spatula. “It’s simple, all you have to do is push the food around the pan, occasionally flipping it over so both sides get heated.”

She complied, staring at the browning mushrooms with intense focus. 

He laughed.

“Why are you laughing at me?” she demanded.

“I’m not!” he said defensively.

She starred at him flatly.

“Okay, I am,” he admitted. “You just looked like you were concentrating so hard.”

“This was your idea Mamo-chan!” she declared waving the spatula in his face. “You know I am hopeless in the kitchen. If you’re just going to laugh at me, I want no part.”

“You’re doing fine Usako,” he reassured. He tossed the shrimp into the pan with the mushrooms. “And now the shrimp needs your attention.”

She went back to stirring, this time her lips curled downward in a pout. He grinned with suppressed laughter. He added the noodles to the now boiling water before turning back to her.

“Now flip each piece over,” he directed.

She did so and slowly her pout transformed into a slight smile. He added the cabbage.

“Now, it’ll be done when the cabbage starts to wilt.”

“How will I know when it’s starting to wilt?” she asked.

“You’ll know. It just gets more flexible,” he explained. “It doesn’t take long.”

Mamoru meanwhile, strained the noodles before rinsing them in cold water to stop the cooking process. There was nothing worse than overdone noodles.

“Mamo-chan, I think it’s done,” Usagi called. He looked over her shoulder.

“Looks great Usako,” he encouraged. “Now, dump that into the soup pot.”

He followed suit with the cold noodles.

“How long do we have to wait now?” she asked.

“Just a minute or so,” he explained scavenging the kitchen for bowls. 

“Really? That’s it?” she asked in disbelief. “No wonder I always burn everything,” she mumbled under her breath.

“It’s hard to burn soup Usako,” he commented.

“Trust me, it’s not impossible,” she countered. He chuckled.

He lined up the four bowls on the counter and began filling them with soup.

“Would you go ask Motoki-kun where he’s planning on us all eating this?”

“Why can’t we just…” Usagi asked. She stopped mid question as she no doubt saw that the table was covered in boxes. “Oh.”

“Motoki-oniisan!” she called as she darted out of the room, “Where did you…” she cut off with an audible gasp.

“Usako?” Mamoru called after her, slightly concerned. When she didn’t respond he followed her.

Across the room inbetween stacks of boxes, his oldest friend was on one knee with a diamond ring held out to his girlfriend. She had a hand over her mouth in shock.

“I had this whole romantic evening planned,” he was saying to her. “But being here with you for the first time in what feels like forever, watching us meld our lives together… I just… couldn’t wait. I was hoping that I’d be able to see you wearing this before the day was over. Nishimura Reika, will you be my wife?”

The auburn haired lady threw herself at the blond man, her arms encircled his neck as she kissed him.

Mamoru looked away from the couple to his golden rabbit. She stood with tears in her eyes at the scene, her hand covering her own mouth in glee. He longed for the day when he could ask her the same question.

Her eyes darted to his and he offered her a small smile. She met his eyes for a moment with a small smile of her own before she quickly looked away with a blush.

He couldn’t ask her yet. Neither one of them had completely healed yet, but her blush told him that they had made so much progress. He could content himself with waiting. She was more than worth it.

And in the meantime, he didn’t have to imagine what she would like in her wedding dress. He already knew.

“So that’s a yes?” Motoki asked with vulnerable eyes.

“Of course it is Toki!” she exclaimed took the ring from his hands and tried it on her left hand. Usagi squealed quietly in excitement.

“What took you so long?” Reika demanded playfully.

Motoki blushed.

Mamoru took pity on him and decided to rescue his friend. He stepped forward and clapped Motoki on the back.

“Congratulations Motoki-kun! You’ve earned yourself the second best woman in the world!”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on the count Mamoru-kun,” Motoki disagreed.

“Mamo-chan!” Usagi scolded at the same time. Motoki and Reika laughed as they looked at one another in the eyes all over again, positively glowing.

Mamoru turned innocent eyes toward Usagi. “I won’t take it back,” he whispered without a trace of remorse.

She turned a delightful shade of red before turning back to their friends.

“Motoki-oniisan, thank you for allowing us to witness this beautiful moment. Please forgive Mamo-chan’s rudeness. He can be a bit of an idiot at times.”

“You and I both know it Usagi-chan,” Motoki said, never taking his eyes of his new fiancé. “But that’s what he has us for – to force him to see sense when he’s being particularly thick-headed.”

Reika laughed.

“Anyway,” Mamoru interrupted loudly. “If you’re all done laughing at my expense, we’ll going to take our soba outside, get out of your hair, and let you celebrate. Should you get hungry, there’s ready made food on the counter.”

The newly promised couple nodded gratefully.

Mamoru gave Reika a hug before leaving, “I’m so happy for you Reika-chan. You’re right that this was a long time in coming. Congratulations,” he whispered.

“Thank you Mamoru-kun,” she whispered back.

Mamoru and Usagi departed with soups in hand. They did not go far – just settled down on the stairs right outside Motoki and Reika’s apartment. 

Usagi immediately began slurping down the soup happily. 

“So I take it you approve, even though you had a hand in its creation?” Mamoru asked as he sipped the broth carefully.

She nodded enthusiastically. “But don’t get too used to me doing anything in the kitchen,” she warned. “Without you guiding my hand, I still think I’d be lost.”

He laughed again, but immediately sobered as he picked up the second layer to her statement.

“Usako?” Mamoru asked when they had fallen into silence.

“Yes, Mamo-chan?” she said around a mouthful of shrimp. 

“I know things aren’t the way they used to be, but…”

“Mamo-chan,” she interrupted. “You don’t have to try so hard. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere,” she promised with a smile.

He smiled back, his heart lighter than it had been in months.

…

Making one meal together a week had quickly become a tradition. Though now, six weeks later, Usagi had asked if they might make a dessert instead. He used the request as a golden opportunity to teach her to make cookies, in the hopes that he would never have to suffer through a bag of blackened sugar cookies again.

The endeavor had been an amazing success. Or at least he thought it had. Usagi was now looking mournfully into her teacup.

“What’s wrong Usako?” he asked.

“I still have cookies,” she said simply.

“I fail to see how _that_ is a problem,” he said with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“We’re out of tea,” she whined. 

He stole the teapot out of her hands and quickly refilled it before placing it on the stove to be reheated. Moments later, she was happily sitting across from him once again with a cookie in one hand and a steaming cup in the other.

She said nothing as she munched her way through the sweet confection. Then she was looking at him with those sad puppy eyes, biting her lip in a fashion that drove him to the edge of sanity.

“What is it now?” he asked, grinning.

“I’m out of cookies.”

“Don’t you think we’ve had enough?”

“But I still have tea!” she objected. This time she moved to the kitchen herself. And he listened to her rummage around the kitchen. He followed her and watched as she dropped another twelve balls of cookie dough onto the baking sheet.

“Usako! This is too many!”

“You can never have too many cookies Mamo-chan!”

“Five minutes after these are done you’re going to be saying we don’t have enough tea!”

“Probably,” she agreed.

Fifteen minutes later, she couldn’t get the words out of her mouth. Everytime she tried, she just burst into uncontrollable laughter. And he couldn’t help but join her. This did not prevent her from running into the kitchen to make more tea.

During her absence he managed to get himself mostly under control again taking careful measured breaths to battle what had become painful bouts of laughter. That is, until she returned. One look at her tea filled cheeks and he exploded into laughter all over again.

Unfortunately for him, she did as well, spraying the whole room with jasmine tea. They spent the rest of the evening sneaking sips of tea and bits of cookies inbetween fits of laughter. He had long ago stopped trying to figure out what exactly was so funny. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Not that he could manage to string enough words together to voice this complaint.

In a seemingly impossible moment, they actually managed to run out of tea and cookies at the same time. His surprise suppressed his mirth in that instant and he looked up into Usagi’s eyes. She returned the stare for a long moment and he felt himself frozen in her gaze.

“I love you, Mamo-chan,” she whispered.

Suddenly, laughter was the furthest thing from his mind. He had to close his eyes against the tears that suddenly wanted to fall.

“What’s wrong?” she asked urgently, her voice full of concern.

“Nothing!” he reassured hastily. “That’s the first time you’ve said it since… well, you know.”

She looked at him in shock. “No,” she objected in disbelief. “That can’t be true. I’ve said it,” she insisted.

He shook his head with a smile. “No, that was the first time.”

She looked straight into his eyes.

“I love you!” she said again. “I love you! I love you! I love you!” 

“I love you too, Usako.” And more than anything in that moment, he wished he could touch her, but if he did that would bring on the vision and he most certainly did not want to poison this moment.

“Spirits, I wish I could touch you,” he whispered.

“Well, now that that’s fixed, I think I have a solution to your nightmare problem.”

They both leapt to their feet in startlement at Sailor Pluto’s sudden presence before them.

“Who are you?” Usagi asked.

“Setsuna-chan!” Mamoru exclaimed simultaneously.

“Setsuna-chan?” Usagi repeated. “You’re a Sailor Senshi?” 

Pluto bowed her head gracefully. “I am Sailor Pluto. It’s a pleasure to meet you again princess and under much better circumstances.”

“You’ve had a solution, all this time?” Mamoru demanded. 

“I wasn’t holding out on you Mamoru-kun. It wouldn’t have worked until now.”

“What do you mean?” Usagi asked.

“You had to rebuild your love and trust in one another. Any trace of doubt or fear would have made the nightmare come true.”

This pronouncement sobered Mamoru immediately. 

“So what do we have to do?”

“Take my hands.”

They both eagerly stepped forward.

…

The scent of roses surrounded them and an orchestra played softly in the distance. Setsuna was nowhere to be seen. Instead, they were surrounded by satin covered chairs decorated with red ribbons and bows, framed by rose vines woven through white lattice. Mamoru felt himself tensing automatically. It was too easy to picture a bride coming through that living archway only to fall to her premature death.

Had Setsuna brought them into the nightmare?

He glanced at Usagi. She nodded to him stoically and he instantly relaxed. He could face this – if she was here with him he could face anything.

At that moment, a man dressed in a white tuxedo appeared before them. A man with midnight blue eyes and dark hair. 

“Took you long enough,” his older self chided with a huge smile as they approached.

“You were the one that sent the nightmare?” Mamoru accused.

The other man nodded. “It was necessary to save the future.” 

“From what?” Mamoru asked in confusion.

“Everyone had fears Mamoru, but your fears are particularly dangerous.”

“I don’t understand.”

The king from the future sighed.

“You have abilities as the Terran Prince, a connection to the earth. Most of them would have remained dormant had you never recovered any memories of Endymion, but once you did, you began coming into your powers.

“Unfortunately, you haven’t been trained,” the other man continued. “This wouldn’t have been a problem if you weren’t also alone.”

“He’s not alone,” Usagi objected. 

“That’s not what I meant Usako,” the other man said gently with a small smile. Mamoru scowled at the use of the endearing nickname. His older self smirked. “You are the last of the Elysian Court.” 

“The Shittenou…” Mamoru realized. “They were supposed to be with me if I recovered my memories.”

His older self nodded. “They were supposed to be with you, balancing out or absorbing your powers until you learned to control them. They were actually beginning your training in your dreams, but you came into your powers too quickly. And dreams are… not the most _direct_ method of communication.”

Mamoru frowned. That fact hadn’t prevented this man from sending him the worst vision he ever experienced repeatedly.

“What is all this training supposed to teach me?”

“You are connected to this earth. It’s so much more than just a hunk of rock in space as you’re beginning to learn. It has a life force all of its own. And you are a channel for that life flow.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Don’t you? As I said, _your_ fears are dangerous. It hasn’t been youmas attacking your princess. It’s the very earth itself responding to your fear.”

“You mean, by concentrating on that fear…”

“…you were bringing it into existence. The Earth was responding to your thoughts. She will _always_ respond to your thoughts so you have to master your fears and emotions. You exist always as a channel. All earthlings do, but for you, as the prince of the earth, the effect is extremely magnified.

“This fear of losing her has been with you for a long time. As you came into your connection with the planet, you began unknowingly to summon more spirits to do your bidding, which in turn caused your fears to grow.”

“Which resulted in more spirits,” Mamoru concluded. The revelation sent chills down his spine. If he had continued as he had been they would eventually have been up to their ears in malicious spirits.

“Which is exactly what happened in the original timeline.”

“The original?”

“You never resolved your fears, but the attacks increased so gradually that none of us noticed the pattern. Over the centuries the spirits multiplied until we couldn’t manage it anymore and Usagi was not the only one affected.”

“I didn’t mean…” Mamoru began to object.

“It’s understandable that you would fear for her,” his future self said caressing her face. “She is so young… completely innocent.”

Usagi blushed. Mamoru felt his ire rising.

“Don’t touch her,” he growled.

“My apologies,” his older self said, but he didn’t sound remotely contrite. He seemed amused.

Mamoru supposed that it was rather ridiculous to be jealous of oneself.

“That it is,” he older self agreed with another superior smirk.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

“You seem to have me at a disadvantage.”

“Not for long.”

Mamoru was not at all certain he liked this conversation. In fact, he knew he didn’t. 

“So you sent the nightmare… to train me? That doesn’t make sense. The nightmare made the fear worse!”

“Exactly. We accelerated the growth of the fear to make the attacks happen more quickly so the pattern could be noticed. We made it so big that you could not possibly ignore it. The only way for you to survive, the only way for Usako to survive was for _you_ to let go of the fear. Choose love instead.”

“How did you know it would work?”

“I didn’t,” the king said bluntly. 

It was a sobering statement.

“But I had to have faith that your love was strong enough,” the king said softly.

“And if it hadn’t been?” Mamoru demanded.

“I had to choose love over fear,” the man in white told him. “Same as you.”

Mamoru considered this. 

“Thank you,” he finally said.

“You’d do the same in my place,” the man said with confidence. “Now, if you’ll allow it, I need to speak to your little rabbit,” he said with a devilish smile.

Mamoru wanted to object, but he felt ridiculous.

“Usako,” the older man said enveloping her hand within his own. “Walk with me. I have much to tell you.”

Mamoru watched himself walk away hand in hand with _his_ beloved as Mamoru had been unable to do in months. He glared at the back of his own head as his other self whispered secrets that caused Usagi to smile and blush in turn. He clenched his fists.

_It’s you_ , he kept repeating to himself. _It’s you._

When she giggled he nearly lost it. But before he could charge forward, the man dressed in white turned back around to face him as Usagi ran into his arms so hard he almost fell over.

“Usa…” he began. She smothered whatever he had been about to say, planting her lips fiercely over his own. 

He tensed automatically expecting the vision, but when nothing came he relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy her scent filling his senses like a rose in fullest bloom for what felt like the very first time.

She was the one to pull away first, gasping. He released her lips reluctantly. He would have suffocated before he chose to let that kiss end. He kissed her again.

“What did he say to you?” he managed to ask inbetween kisses.

“Ah-ah-ah,” his own voice interrupted. “You can only know when you’re on the other side of this conversation.”

“And how will long will that be?” Mamoru asked still clutching Usagi in his arms.

The other man shrugged, “Another millennia or two.”

“ _What_?”

His older self smirked even as he faded away.

He now stood standing alone with Usagi.

“You won’t tell me, will you,” he said. It was not really a question.

She bit her lip as she grinned mischievously, clearly telling him no.

“I wouldn’t want to spoil anything for you,” her eyes sparkled like the ocean as the sun set.

“I love you, Usako.”

“I know,” she said coyishly.

“You know?” he growled, pulling her closer, secretly delighted and annoyed at the same time at her playing hard to get.

“Yup!” she said playfully.

She did not resist as he trapped her against him. He enveloped her lips in his own, once again delighted that there was no accompanying nightmare. It still felt like he was kissing her for the very first time.

He pulled away first, and stared straight into her eyes.

“Marry me, Usako,” he said.

Her playful grin vanished as she stared at him in shock.

“You’re proposing _now_?”

“I am,” he said seriously, falling to one knee, relinquishing all of her except one hand that he pressed to his lips. As he did the dream shifted and they were in the garden on the moon, the fountain bubbling in the background, the water glistening in the light reflected off Earth. Roses in full bloom surrounded them on all sides. Usagi looked around in amazement, her eyes sparkling in childlike wonderment.

Mamoru noticed none of it – his eyes only for the princess of his dreams, his beloved. She was his whole life if he was honest with himself.

“There’s one other thing we have to do first,” she said with a smile.

“And what’s that?”

“Pick out an omiyage!”

“So that’s a yes?” he asked, wanting to hear her say it.

She laughed. “Yes Mamo-chan! Did you ever doubt it?”

“Well, I haven’t exactly been the best boyfriend lately.”

She smiled. “I’m sure you’ll be the best husband.”

“How do you have so much faith in me?” he asked.

“I have to. I would be lost without you,” she whispered.

“You were almost lost _because_ of me,” he growled.

“But I wasn’t,” she insisted. “Our love was strong enough to overcome your fear. I don’t know what better way you could express your love.”

“I can think of a few other methods that I prefer,” he insisted pulling her into another kiss.

She laughed delightedly.

Now that he could touch her again, he didn’t know how he was ever going to let her go. 

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tea and cookies scene is inspired by my sister. It’s a true story!


	7. Epilogue - On the Other Side of Time

1,783 years later…

“And if you’ll allow it, I need to speak to your little rabbit,” he said with a devilish smile. He didn’t wait for his younger self to respond. He knew the younger man wasn’t really okay with it, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. 

“Usako,” he said enveloping her hand within his own, “Walk with me. I have much to tell you.”

She turned a questioning glance over his shoulder toward his younger self even as they strode away.

“Don’t you trust me, Usako?” he teased with a gentle smile.

“In all things Mamo-chan,” she said softly. That he had just broken her heart went completely unsaid. And he loved her even more if that was possible. She had such devotion and faith in him. The hurt was still there. It could not ever be completely erased. And yet, she still trusted him – still loved him with every fiber of her being.

He squeezed his eyes closed unable to take the fresh pain in her eyes. And unfortunately, he knew it would not be the last time he hurt her.

“I want you to know Usako. The hardest thing about sending him those visions was I knew exactly how much it would hurt _you_. If I could have done it without involving you I would have.”

“I would always choose to share his trials with him,” she said angrily.

He smiled sadly, “I know.” In fact, she had insisted, but he couldn’t tell her that. She had to make that decision herself when the time came. “Doesn’t make me feel any less guilty, so I wanted to tell you a few things to make it up to you.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Knowledge of the future and all that?”

“Oh don’t worry, I have Sailor Pluto’s permission.”

Setsuna had told him he could say nothing of the future. But he could say anything at all about his past self as long as it had already happened.

“Sailor Pluto’s permission?”

“Oh right. You don’t really know what she does yet. Let’s just say, I’m not going to tell you anything earth shattering.”

She nodded. 

“First, he’s an orphan,” he began.

“I already know that,” she said with a gentle smile.

“Yes, I know you do, but what you don’t know is that it makes it hard for him to trust anyone. It makes it hard for him to confide in anyone because he’s always been alone. He wants to share all of himself with you, but sometimes he doesn’t know how. His instinct is always to protect and he doesn’t always know how to share the things that are troubling him. He doesn’t want to burden anyone else with it, least of all you. Don’t let him get away with it.”

“I don’t want to force him to talk to me,” she objected.

The king laughed. “The secret is to just stare at him. He will lose himself in those beautiful sapphire eyes and he’ll crumble.”

She turned a delightful shade of red and looked down at her feet.

“Spirits, I envy him,” he whispered, remembering the shy innocent girl standing in front of him now.

She glanced back up, startled.

“But… he’s _you_.”

“Exactly. I know precisely what his future holds. What it would mean to be twenty years old again,” he said reminiscently. “Anyway,” he interrupted himself. “Where was I?”

“Second?” she offered with a smile.

“Second,” he repeated, “never doubt his love. There will be times when he is angry or downright discouraged or just a stubborn moron, but his love for you _never_ waivers. You are his _world_. This experience was as painful for him as it was for you, because you doubted him.”

“But I…” she objected.

“He knows it was unfair. That he pushed you away, encouraged you to do exactly that, but it still hurt. He’ll never tell you that. He blames himself far too much for putting you in that position in the first place.”

“Isn’t he telling me right now?” she asked playfully. He grinned. He supposed that was technically accurate.

“And this last bit is the most important,” he began.

“Go on,” she encouraged when he paused for dramatic effect.

“He’s ticklish.”

“ _What_?” she guffawed.

“He _is_!” he insisted. “His sides, right at his waist,” he confided with a conspiratorial wink. She giggled.

“Is it fair of you to be giving away all his weaknesses and insecurities?” she asked teasingly.

“To you? He would _thank_

me. He’d especially thank me for this,” he leaned forward whispering his last message in her ear. “Right now, the curse of his nightmare is no more. He just had to bring you here free of his own fear and you trusting in his love. And now, he’s feeling horribly jealous watching me stand here talking to you so intimately when he hasn’t been able to truly touch you in months.”

He pulled back in time to see her eyes widen into huge saucers at the implications. She stared at him for a split second before she bolted right past him into the arms of his former self. He watched them with a smile. All was as it should be.

…

The king woke slowly to the crystal blue eyes of his own princess and queen. His mouth spread into a smile.

“You’re okay,” he whispered in disbelief, caressing the side of her face.

“He’s awake!” she called, her eyes never left his own as she smiled back at him.

“Finally!” Pluto’s voice said in exasperation. She was coming in over the communicator. “Ask him why he was fighting me.”

“Did it work?” he demanded of the time guardian. “Are the spirits gone?”

“They’re still around,” Pluto promised. “Just not openly bent on your wife’s destruction anymore. You’ve successfully rewritten history.”

He released a huge sigh of relief.

“Hang up,” he said brusquely, pulling his princess to him. She fell willingly onto his chest.

“Hey! That’s all the gratitude I get? After…” that was as far as she got before the king ended the transmission.

“I want some alone time with a certain Odango Atama.”

His queen arched an eyebrow at him. He hadn’t used the insulting nickname in centuries, but when he saw her eyes dancing with so many memories he knew it had not been a mistake.

“I love you, Usako.”

“I know,” she said with a grin before pressing her lips gently to his own.

And now finally, he understood why she always said that. He had never realized how far those two words went in reassuring and delighting him.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been quite the ride! I’ve written twenty-six thousand words in thirteen days! Thank you for joining me through this experience. I very much hope something in it spoke to you. Happy New Year!


End file.
